


eternal fever.

by romanticsteggy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bikers, Angst, Biker Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Longing, Mutual Pining, No Smut, Pining, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sadness, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticsteggy/pseuds/romanticsteggy
Summary: bucky barnes, president of the 107th biker club, accepts a job for him and his men to act as security for hot stuff, a popular strip joint owned by tony stark. bucky doesn’t oversee the club much, but one night when the club is rented out for a private party, his attendance is needed. he had expected to see slimy men pawing nude women. what he didn’t expect was to find the love of his life on the main stage.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 68





	1. prolouge.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote some of this last year when i was house sitting and nothing has ever come of it. while in quarantine, i have just been thinking a lot about the stories i have and never posted. i don’t see myself ever writing new fics again (sadly) but i was excited to read this one had some good bones to work with. i don’t think this is my best work, but i do think it can be an enjoyable lil series to read while we are all trapped at home! i hope you enjoy and PLEASE know that feedback is appreciated

When Tony Stark approached him about a deal, Bucky almost laughed. 

The two men ran in similar circles, one that was filled with debutchery and sordid details. 

Unlike Bucky’s operation, Stark’s shady dealings were unknown by law enforcement. The fact that he would sell his girls to men for a night under the table, launder money and fudge the numbers on his taxes all went over the cops heads. Tony was a smart man, too smart for anyone’s own good. He was respected by all, criminal or not. He could charm the suspicion out of anyone’s mind. He carried himself as someone who would stick his nose up at the shading dealing he was associated with, not right into them. Tony came from nothing, but had the cadence of old money, if you didn’t know him personally you wouldn’t be the wiser. He had connections in all the right places to get the authorities to look the other way, his boyish smile and cavalier humor covering up the obvious blood in the water. 

While Bucky, he was the opposite. He was thick corded muscle painted in tattoos. A perpetual scowl owned his features and could strike fear into even his dearest loved ones. He was only respected by the scum of the earth, and liked by very few. Bucky came from nothing too, but had never been able to give his club, the 107th, the revenue it needed. He was still deep in the debts that his father had passed him when he had handed over his president patch, and left Bucky to deal with entirely when he was killed. Bucky’s hands were calloused and scared, a contrast to Stark’s manicured nail beds. And Bucky was never so lucky with the cops as Stark was.

The police were always breathing down his neck, sulking around to try and pin even the most minor infraction on him and his men. Leaning against their patrol cars when he came out of the clubhouse with notepads in their hands and questions pouring into the air. They had yet to find any credible evidence about Bucky or any of the 107th’s indiscretions, but they were always rooting around in the underbelly of the city looking for any reason to slap Bucky in a pair of cuffs. 

“One of these days, Barnes,” Officer Rhodes would say with a shake of his head, “You’re gonna get sloppy, and I’m gonna be there.” 

“Only time I’m sloppy is when I fuck ‘yer mother, Rhodes.” The officer never appreciated his quick wit like he did Tony’s. 

Though, Bucky and Tony did have one thing in common: the love of money, and getting it in anyway possible.

“I need men on the premise to keep my girls safe and keep the patrons from getting too handsy. And you need to look more legimite in the eyes of the law. How is this not a win-win, Barnes?” Tony had asked, smirk curling on his lips. 

“Don’t know if I’m in the market to be bossed around by the likes of you. I like not answering to anyone but myself.” Bucky tipped his chin back and sunk deeper into the plush armchair.

He had been sitting in Tony’s gaudy office above Hot Stuff, the club he was inquiring about. Tony had handed Bucky a stiff drink before entering and Bucky had made a show of setting the crystal tumbler down on the lavish end table by the door, refusing to accept the nicety. 

“What happens when the feds start wanting you to answer to them, huh? What happens when they want to know where all that moneys comin’ from? You can have Rogers spin you a lie or you can have me to vouch for your income.” Bucky’s jaw clenched. 

“Rhodes is small time, he wants to catch ya. Wants, but won’t. The feds… well, if they want ya then they will get ya. Really, you should be thanking me.” 

“Don’t push it,” Bucky bit. 

“The ball’s in your court now, Jamie. What’s it gonna be?” Tony’s cocksure smile made Bucky’s fists clench.

A week later Bucky sent some men to Stark’s club for directions on what to do. He didn’t like kneeling to anyone’s will, but after his talk with Steve and Sam, he knew this was the right decision for the club. He brought the final vote to the chapel with the boys, who all seemed eager. 

“The money’s great, it would give us a cover and we get to stare at half naked broads all day? Why haven’t we thought of this before!” Clink exclaimed. 

His comment earned him a hard elbow to the ribs from Natasha. 

“Because this means that we gotta answer to Stark, who knows if this is all the dirty work he wants us to do.” Bucky countered.

“How the hell is punching a few jackasses for their wandering hands dirty work?”

“You know what I meant. He could over extend his hand, ask for favors we aren’t willing to give.” Bucky’s jaw ticked. 

“I think that’s a bridge we cross if we get to it,” Steve spoke up, “For now, this is a good idea.” 

“So, we’re all in, VP’s in… just you left, Buck.” Sam nudged Bucky’s shoulder from where he stood next to him. 

So, he conceded. His boys were right, it was for the good of the club. 

Bucky and Tony set up the plan that two men would work during the week, four on Friday and Saturday and back to two by Sunday. Most of Bucky’s men were eager to work at the club, Sam told him it was because Tony was paying them under the table in pussy, and Bucky could care less. They were doing what they needed for Stark, doing their business for the 107th, so they could get their rocks off where they could.

Bucky kept his distance from Hot Stuff, not because he didn’t want free lap dances or to see beautiful women spread their legs for him, but because he saw the simple security work as beneath him. Bucky Barnes had climbed to the helm of the 107th on the backs of other men and paid his weight in gold with his blood, sweat and tears. Just because he was the former Pres’s son didn’t mean he got any handouts. Stark’s work was for lower ranks and men who were newly patched in. He had made this very clear to Stark, Sam and Steve in the beginning. 

“I’m still the fucking boss. I don’t do work with the help.” 

No one questioned it, not only because of his stern tone, but because everyone knew the consequences of crossing a Barnes. His father had been feared and had passed that gene down to his first born. Barnes men were respected and followed, they didn’t have the patience to do the same for anyone else. 

Bucky stood his ground on the matter until about six months into his association with Stark. He hadn’t stepped foot in the club after dark, only showing up mid day to consult Stark on matters that would arise or collect his cheque; until one weekend arrived where his attendance was pertinent. 

“I would’ve asked Steve, but,” Sam shrugged uncomfortably as he spoke to his president, silently wishing that Steve could have done his run the week before. 

Sam Wilson, Bucky’s Sergeant in arms and messenger between Barnes and Stark when Bucky was too busy to show up to Hot Stuff in person. Bucky would usually give a gruff noise in response to Stark’s words through Sam’s mouth, but now as he was requested to work at the club this coming Saturday night, he looked ready to snarl and snap in fury. 

“The whole club ‘s rented out man… it’s gonna be packed with all these businessmen lookin’ to cup a feel.” 

“Then let them, fuck if I care.” 

“Come on, Buck…” 

“Send Thor in my place.” Bucky replied with a dismissive hand. 

“He’s already going to be there. It’s all hands on deck, Pres.” 

There was a long pause between the two men before Bucky reluctantly broke it.

“Is Stark upping the pay?” 

“Eleven hundred for you and I, nine hundred for the rest of the boys.” This peaked Bucky’s attention, anger suddenly flooding away. 

“Eleven hundred for one night of work?”

“The whole night, but yeah.” 

While Bucky wasn’t fond of going back on his word or looking weak in Stark’s or anyones eyes, the money was just too good to let his ego get in the way. He decided to think about it like he was pulling one over on Stark, he was the idiot who was paying Bucky to scowl at blue collar men for a few hours, after all.

xx

That Saturday night, Bucky stood by the bar as he watched men hoot and holler at scantily dressed women. Liquor was flowing and so was cash, the only thing more distracting than the stripping women was the large amounts of bills they would collect when their dance was done. Bucky smirked when he watched each woman retreat through the heavy red velvet curtains with bouquets of green bills spilling from their clutches. Many would say that this act was degrading to them, but it was clear who was in control in the transaction. One party shook their tits while the other salivated and emptied their wallets for something they could see on the internet for free. 

As the night went on, Bucky was starting to think Stark was even stupider than he had previously thought. While rowdy, the men were generally well behaved, apart from a few who would get pried off a dancer by one of Bucky’s men. But those men were few and far between, and after they were reprimanded by a biker, they kept their hands to themselves. Bucky Barnes was really going to get a fat fucking paycheck at the end of the night for sitting at the bar and looking menacing while he people watched, something he did most nights for free. 

Though as the night aged, Bucky became restless. The booming music was giving him a headache, and the red tint to the lighting was only adding to the throbbing pain. The beer was numbing his tongue and his shoulders were starting to freeze uncomfortably with tension. He was on the clock until three AM, and the time had just barely passed one. He was debating telling Sam to call him if anything went south and heading home, when the DJ’s voice layered over the music. 

“Whatta a show that was, gentlemen… Now, you better get ready, because does Hot Stuff have a treat for you tonight. Please give it up for the one, the only, Violet.”

The patrons began to whistle and call, so much so it drew Bucky away from his riveting activity of peeling the label off his sweating beer bottle. Men swarmed the stage, waiting expectantly with their eyes wide as saucers. Bucky’s only comparison he could make was that these men looked like cartoon dogs, with their tongues hanging from their mouths as they panted and howled at an attractive woman on a city sidewalk. Not one to miss out on a beautiful woman, Bucky fully swiveled his stool around and waited for Violet to grace the stage. 

A crooning took over the speakers as a new song echoed through the club, and a pair of dainty hands parted the heavy red curtains, playing with them between her fingers, intensifying the suspense of her appearance. Bucky could tell the men were getting antsy as her teasing continued, and truthfully so was he. It seemed a few men were even turning red in the face. Before anyone could shout or make any discernible action other than ogling, the curtains finally parted and a female figure came shimming threw. Bucky felt his jaw drop. 

Standing under the hued lights was the most exquisite woman he had ever seen. Miles of pure flawless skin and piercing eyes. The dips and slopes of her features were chiseled elegantly and as she swayed around the stage, she was absolutely alluring. Bucky felt like he was witnessing a masterpiece, like he was in the presence of Venus as Botticelli painted her. Her body was decked out in nothing by jewels, custer’s covering her most sensitive areas. She sashayed around in raw sexuality and power, moving with such fluid ease Bucky could only think that she was made to do this. Made to be looked on like a goddess as she gyrated around the shimmering silver pole.

Against his will, his body stood and started to walk closer to the stage, drawn to her like a siren. Eyes wide and lips parted, Bucky watched in continued awe as she finished her dance, smiling dazzling smiles at the men in her trace, gracefully collecting her money and giving an adorable bow before exiting the stage. When she was finally hidden behind the heavy curtains, the crowd erupted into cheers and Bucky released a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. 

He decided right then and there that security at the club was now his highest priority. That, and this Violet was to be his.


	2. chapter i.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky can’t get her out of his mind and does his best to get closer to her. but that may be easier said than done.

When Bucky started volunteering to do shifts at Hot Stuff, no one probed the subject. They knew not to question Bucky’s motivations or decisions, just follow them. He had yet to steer them wrong, and they trusted his instincts. If Bucky Barnes’ instincts were telling him to spend more time at the strip club, his men went with it. 

Bucky spent most of his free time waiting in the wings of the club, searching for her. He learned she worked Monday, Wednesday, Friday and alternating Saturdays. He learned that she preferred to dance to classic rock, that she liked to wear wigs when she was prowling the floor, but preferred to go without them when she was on stage. He learned she had the most hypnotic laugh he’d ever heard, one that sent a jolt to both his heart and his cock. He learned that she was a pro at upselling men on the price of private dances and that she was far more cunning than anyone gave her credit for. That was about as much as Bucky could learn from her without actually talking to her, which he had yet to do. 

Stark’s policy was that Bucky and his men were not to distract his girls from working. After they were off the clock, the 107th could do whatever they wanted, but not when the girls were earning Tony money. So, Bucky had yet to say anything to the woman who had been plaguing his dreams for weeks. 

He would nod to her as she entered the club before her shift, she would offer him a sweet, almost innocent and that was the extent of their interactions. When she would catch his eye throughout the night, she would give him the same smile, and if he was a lucky, a wink as well. As juvenile as it sounded, that was enough for Bucky, at least for now. He had his sights set on her, to be his girl, his old lady, his everything. It was written. Waiting a little while longer wasn’t going to kill him. 

And one night, their relationship gained some momentum. 

Bucky was sitting on his bike, cigarette between his lips as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone. It was late, the parking lot almost empty, the only cars present were those of a few dancers and a handful of patrons left inside. Clint had just left, but Bucky decided to stick around a little longer. His excuse was to have a smoke before hitting the road, but Clint knew he had other reasons, his knowing smiles said as much. When he was about to flick his cigarette to the cement, a melodic voice sounded from his left. 

“Cigarettes, really?”

Turning, Bucky’s breath caught in his throat. There she was, Violet, standing in a thick winter jacket, hair tied up on the top of her head.

“Those’ll kill ya, y’know?”

“What?” Bucky replied dumbly. 

She smirked and pointed to her pouty lips, “Those’ll kill ya. It’s the twenty-first century, thought everyone knew that.” 

Bucky laughed through his nose, “Well maybe I’m a lil’ old fashioned.” 

“Sure your lungs love that.” Her smile persisted as she started to walk away. 

“You on your way out?” Bucky called quickly, not wanting their small interaction to end. 

She stopped to turn back toward Bucky and nod. 

“Why don’t I give you a lift?” 

“Nah, I’d prefer not to get on the back of that thing.” She started to walk backward, playful gaze locked with Bucky’s, “Smoking and a biker, someone’s got a death wish.” 

“Only wish I got darlin’ is for you to go for a ride with me.” Bucky flirted. 

“Ugh,” Her face soured, “Whatta line!” 

She turned back around and started back toward the bus stop, Bucky heard her small laughs as she disappeared in the night. He felt delirious off her joy and high off her voice, she was ethereal to him, a woman who unknowingly held his heart in her hands. 

After Bucky had got a taste of her voice, her presence, her interaction, he was hooked. From that night forth, Bucky peppered small talk and compliments into their daily greeting. 

“Some weather, out there, huh?” , “Gorgeous as ever, doll. Yer gonna knock ‘em dead tonight.” , “Lovin’ the glitter on your cheeks, darlin’.” , “Good evening, it’s fillin’ up.” 

Just anything to speak to her, no matter how mundane and stupid. Bucky didn’t care because for some reason, she always replied. 

“Yeah, winter’s kickin’ my ass.” , “Don’t I always?” , “Thanks, it’s new!” , “Great, have a good night.” 

Bucky took her replies as progress in their budding relationship, and stepped up his game. He’d wait for her every night to make sure she got to the bus safely. He’d post closer to the stage and whisper good luck before she went on. He shadowed her while she was on the floor, making men quake with the idea of placing a hand where it wasn’t supposed to be. And while she wasn’t melting at his feet like Bucky was used to women doing, her reactions weren’t negative. 

She’d reply to his good luck with smiles, but his hovering with glares. And at night when he’d wait up for her, he often offered her a ride, and some flirty innuendo, “Well if you won’t ride the bike maybe I got something else for ya to ride?” 

She’d roll her eyes and gag, maybe even throw him the middle finger, but it was always followed with a glint in her eye or a small laugh. 

Every day was just the slightest bit of progress in the right direction, even if she had yet to tell him her real name.

One evening, Bucky was feeling exceptionally confident. She had been giggling at his little jokes he’d tell her before she went on stage, and she hadn’t flipped him off or called him a pig in a few days. This was the time, the time Bucky was going to ask her out, Violet or whoever she was.

Waiting for her outside the club like always, Bucky anxiously fiddled with the zipper on his jacket as he sucked at the filter of his smoke. 

“Whatta I always say about that nasty ass habit?” She walked down the small flight of cement steps to where Bucky was leaning against his bike. 

Bucky grinned widely as he looked at her, the same large maroon winter jacket and wool gloves that she adorned every night. God she was beautiful. 

“Well, if I didn’t smoke we woulda never started talkin’, doll. I look at ‘em as a blessin’ now.” He smarmed, raising his right hand in a gesture to the cigarette he held. 

“I’m sure you woulda thought of something to talk to me about sooner or later.” She adjusted the strap of her backpack with a smile. 

“I’d been tryin’ darlin’, then you came out critzin’ me and I was gone.” 

“Oh come on,” She chuckled, almost uncomfortably. 

“M’serious. Been thinkin’ bout you none stop, doll.” Bucky pushed off his bike and started toward her, “Yer all I can think ‘bout, really.” 

She raised an eyebrow. 

“So, why don’t ya come out with me tomorrow? I know you’re off,” Bucky asked, trying to hide his nerves through the deep gravel of his voice, “We don’t even have to take the bike. I got an old ‘70 Chevy at home that I think ya’d love.” 

She looked at him for a long moment, the dim street lights illuminating only half her face, the rest of it cast in shadow. She looked to be having an internal struggle, her brows twitching and her teeth escaping her mouth to gently gnaw at her lip, before offering Bucky her signature smile. 

“M’flattered, but no. Sorry, biker man.” She took a step away from Bucky and he felt like his heart was being torn from his best. 

“It’s Bucky.” 

“Then, I’m sorry Bucky. I’ll see ya.” And with that, she was gone. 

xx

Bucky was never one to quit, not once he got something he wanted in his sights. So even after her rejection, he stayed motivated. He just couldn’t give up, he was already embarrassingly smitten with her, and he could tell that she felt something for him too even if it was minuscule. But he was treading a fine line, the last thing Bucky wanted was to have her feeling uncomfortable in her place of work. He had to figure out a way to show her his continued interest without coming off like a stalker, which was easier said than done. 

So, Bucky continued to wait for her, wish her luck, but poured on the charm when he complimented her. He bought her drinks throughout the night, he requested songs he knew she loved when she was on the floor, he kept known creeps from her section. 

“Mm, you and Black Sabbath, baby are you tryin’ to kill me?” Bucky clutched his chest as she came off the stage. 

“Something like that, Buck.” 

He’s so happy he told her his name, every time it fell from her lips made butterflies erupt in his stomach. The way she shortened his already shortened name, the way she said it with such familiarity and care, it made his head fill with romance adoration.

xx

Bucky and Steve had to make a run that lasted two weeks. Sourcing product, making deals, and making trades with the Skrulls, both men just did everything they could to make sure they kept peace with other gangs in the area. The last thing they needed was a turf war. 

While they were away, Bucky hated to admit that he felt empty without seeing her everyday. He had integrated her so seamlessly into his routine that without her he felt a bitter disequilibrium. He had grown accustomed to seeing her dance, seeing her light up the stage with sensual twirls and rivating moves. He thanked God that Steve slept like the dead, because at night in their shitty motel room, her image refused to leave his head, and the only way he could rest was by jerking his cock to the thought of her. 

Bucky was never one to be eager to head home, that was usually Steve’s territory. He and his old lady, Peggy, were sickenly in love, and he hated being away from her for extended amounts of time. Bucky had always poked fun at the blond for his antsiness, but now Bucky understood. He understood the pull Steve described, he understood the ache his friend would lament about, that resided in his chest, Bucky understood the restlessness of being away from his girl. He was glad Steve was the one to come with him, because if any of the other’s saw how impatient he was to return to New York, they would be cackling. 

It was Wednesday when business with the Skrulls finished, a night he knew you would be working. When Bucky vered off the highway from Steve to take a differing exit, he could only smile. He had never seen Bucky have it so bad, and it was amusing to watch. 

Scott had been picking up the slack for Bucky while he and Steve had been away, so when he saw his fearless leader enter the strip joint, he sighed in relief thinking Bucky had come to relieve him for the night. But he watched as Bucky strutted through the club with purpose, heading straight for the private rooms, whispering something to Thor who stood guard by the array of colored curtains before walking in. 

Out of the prying eyes of his men and other customers, Bucky walks into the small room and took a seat on the circular velour sofa. The private rooms were all decorated the same, just with differing color schemes. Tonight, Bucky picked her favorite. The one with the large crystal chandelier, the one with a mauve interior with splashes of lavender abultries, the one where all the walls were occupied by mirrors. He’d asked you once why you always chose that room.

“No one else really uses that room but me. It’s kinda of mine. It’s nice to feel like something can be mine.” Bucky was surprised that you had spoken with such sincere honesty in a conversation that had just previously been about the weather. 

Waiting for you to arrive, Bucky leaned back into the plush couch and relaxed with a spread of his legs. He glanced at himself in the mirrored walls and knew he looked good, his long hair just the right bit of disheveled and his black jeans clinging tightly to his thighs. He wanted to look good for you more than anything. Well, the only thing he wanted more than to please you was to have you. The weeks he’d spent without you only reaffirmed his feelings for you. 

“And here I thought you forgot about me.” Her honeyed voice appeared. 

Bucky rolled his head away from the mirror to look at her. 

She looked decletable. 

She adorned a skimpy bra and panty set made of white mesh and covered and embroidered cherries. It complimented her (Y/S/C) skin perfectly, with a short red wig to top it all off. On her feet she wore tall plexi heels, ones that made her longs look sinfully long and toned. The little smirk she wore told him she knew she looked good. Better than him.

“Could never forget ya, babydoll.” Bucky’s voice was deep with awe and desire. 

“Up and leavin’ without a word, not very gentlemanly of you, hm?” She sauntered further into the room and came to sit on the couch, a foot or two away from him, leaning her chest toward him. 

“I woulda called if I could.” Bucky’s eyes were locked on her breasts. 

She only hummed in response. 

“Thor said you paid for five songs, is that correct?” Right back to business. 

Bucky nods, eyes still soaking in her body, “Knew I wouldn’t be able to say what I needed with jus’ one or two.” 

Fear briefly flickered over her expression, but Bucky didn’t catch it, too consumed in her presence. 

“Can I interest you in some champagne?” She abruptly left the couch and walked towards the far wall, pushing in on a section of the mirror to open a wine fridge. 

“You tryin’ to upsell me, doll?” Bucky rested his temple against the leather as he watched her grab a flute.

“You’ve seen me do it before, why are you surprised?” Her voice was dulling. 

Bucky didn’t reply, just let her pour him a glass of champagne, filling it to the brim so a few drops fell to her fingers. Handing him the glass, they locked eyes while Bucky took a sip. She sucked her fingers past her glossy lips. Bucky groaned. 

He wanted to throw the glass over his shoulder and devour her like the starved man he was, but he knew he couldn’t. So, Bucky got back to his plan.

“Missed ya while I was gone.” 

“Did you now?” She came to rest one of her knees on the couch next to Bucky’s thigh, in turn looming over him. 

“Couldn’t get ya out of my mind. Yer all I think about, day n’night, baby. You got to know how crazy I am bout ya.” He spoke looking up at her in awe. 

“Oh yeah?” Her hand came to run over his clothed shoulder, “Tell me about it.” 

Bucky’s jaw tensed, “Don’t do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Flirt with me like you flirt with them.” His tone was sour. 

“It’s one and the same, isn’t it?” Her over knee now rested on the couch, straddling Bucky. 

It took all his will power not to grasp her hips. 

“It’s not the same and you know it.” His voice was still bitter. 

“Maybe. Or maybe you had concocted a version of us.” She settled on Bucky’s lap, crotch pressed against his own and chest to chest, “Maybe it’s all in your head.” 

Her words were breathless whispers, ones that she knew where getting him worked up. And they were, but in more ways than one. 

“You think you’re so fuckin’ slick. You think that I don’t see the way you look at me, the way you always look at my lips, the way you always blush when ‘m around. You’re not as stoic as you think.” 

“Is that what you want me to be?” She practically moans, running her nose lightly against his jugular, “Stoic? Slick?” 

“I want you to be real with me for one goddamn second!” He growled. 

She stills, pulling away from him and settling on his lap. The second her hands stopped roaming his torso made Bucky burn for her touch. Her expression lost all hints of suggestiveness and her lips had fallen limp from their coy smile. 

“You want me to be real? You want to know what I really think?” She rose from his lap abruptly, much to Bucky’s frustration, just to settle down again with her back against his chest, grinding her ass hard against his stoney cock. 

Her hips were working him in deep circles that made Bucky’s eyes cross, his fingers itched to touch her, but he just dug them deeper into the velvet below him. 

“Oh- fuck, ba-baby,” Bucky stuttered a moan. 

She leaned her cheek back against his shoulder and hissed in his ear,

“What I really think is that you are the head of a fucking gang, and I don’t need that kind of drama in my life. What I think is that you just want to fuck me. What I think is that you have some fantasy about fucking a stripper and I’m the only one who hasn’t dropped to her knees with my mouth wide open for you. What I think is that you just like a chase.” 

Bucky was doing his best to focus on her words and not cumming at the same time, and it was becoming more difficult by the second. 

“What I really think, Bucky Barnes, is that you just want to have some fun and fuck around, but I’m not the girl for that.” 

“Baby- shit! You’ve, oh, you’ve got it all wrong.” His eyes crossing in pleasure and pain at this point. 

“Do I?” 

And suddenly, her hips stilled and she was standing again.

Bucky was gulping in air, trying to find his bearings from the fog you had put him in. You stood in front of him, adjusting your attire and facing away. 

“You do- I ain’t some kid comin’ in here to fuck up your life. I’m a man comin’ in here to tell a woman that he’s head over heels for her.” Bucky said as best he could- he was still out of breath from her expert grinding. 

Loosley she turns her head to look at him, “You don’t know me. You only know the me you want.” 

She starts to dance and gyrate around the room again, Bucky knew there were cameras in the ceiling. If Tony caught her not doing her job, she’d be in serious shit. Even if it was just Bucky who was the client.

“Then let me get to know you,” He pushed his back from the couch and rests his elbows on his knees, “I want you baby, mind, body and soul. Just gimme a chance.” 

She bends down and touches her toes, her ass just centimeters from his face and his eyes dilate. 

“You come with a lot of baggage. Who says I want that? Or even want you for that matter?” She asked, nimble fingers trailing slowly up the inside of her thigh until she reaches her pussy and stands. 

“I thought we were past pretending you don’t want me?” 

She reaches out to take his discarded champagne and takes a sip and licks the corner of her lips, “Even if we are, that wasn’t the most important part of what I just said.” 

“The baggage?” 

“I’m not naive, I know what your job really entails.” 

Drugs, extorsion, harassment, murder.

“I know it’s not a traditional 9-5, but it keeps things interesting.” Bucky tries to joke to take the edge off. It doesn’t work. 

“I’ve had enough of interesting to last a lifetime.” The bitterness of her tone wraps up a memory that is much darker. 

“I’d protect you from everything. Keep you safe from fuckin’ everything, if that’s what yer worried about. I’d never let anything happen to ya, darlin’.” 

A sad smile replaces her scowl, “Promises, promises.” 

It’s silent for a spell before the song around them fades. 

“That’s your five songs, your time is up, sir. I hope you enjoyed your time with me.” Her voice had it’s sultry edge back but it was forced.

She placed the champagne flute to the side and started to retreat. 

“Wait!” Bucky springs to his feet and comes to stand behind her, as close as he can without touching her.

“I know my job is a lot. Bein’ the president of the 107th has meant everything to me for so long. So fucking long, until you. I saw you that night all those months ago and I knew you and I were meant to be. That the fucking planets aligned and allowed us to meet. I don’t know you, yer right. I don’t even know yer fuckin’ real name. I don’t know your story or your favorite food or what you like to do when yer sad. But what I do know about you, fuck baby, I love it all. I love that you love danin’ to T-Rex, that you love my shitty dirty jokes. I love that you are always nice to the new girls and that yer always lookin’ out for ‘em. I love that you let me talk to you and that you love to fuckin’ dance. I want to know everything about you, babygirl, so I can love all those parts too.” 

Her head had tipped down as she listened to Bucky pour his heart out to her. Once he was done, his words hung in the air, replying in her mind like a broken record and Bucky held his breath to see what she was going to say. When she started to walk back toward the exit Bucky felt like a deflating balloon, his heart falling to his feet. 

But, right before she left she stilled, one hand on the curtin the other twitching at her side. 

“(Y/N).” 

“What?” 

“My name. My name is (Y/N).” And she vanished through the curtain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, i know i said i'd post yesterday but stupid zoom university took up most of my day yesterday lol 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed and same as last time, PLEASE know that feedback is greatly appreciated and keeps me posting this story (:


	3. chapter ii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky now has his foot in the door with (y/n). things seems to be looking up for them, until they don’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is appreciated!!!

(Y/N). Fuck it’s the prettiest name Bucky’s ever heard. 

When he waltzes into the clubhouse the next day, Sam gives him a questioning look while Steve just smiles. He’d know that smile anywhere, it was an I’ve-just-fallen-in-love-smile, and Steve was beaming that he’s finally seeing it on his best friend. 

Bucky has had a rough go of it. From his mother’s untimely death, to his father’s murder to his perpetual bad luck. Bucky was all hard lines, haunted memories and a lagoon of black facades. It was about time that his life started to look up for once. For so long, all Bucky had was his patch and his rank within the 107th. He was so devoted and deadly within the club, it often scared Steve. So seeing Bucky, the feral dog that he has been for far too long, be given the soft touch of another who had captured his heart, was the best sight in the world. It was nice to see a sliver of his childhood companion back. The one who loved to lay in the grass and find pictures in the clouds. 

Bucky felt every bit of that childlike happiness that had come back to him, he had been walking on air since the moment (Y/N) told him her real name. 

“My name. My name is (Y/N).” 

He replayed that moment in his mind millions of times until he saw her again. And when he did, everything seemed to have changed. 

(Y/N) invited him to sit with her while she did your makeup backstage and to join her for her brief “lunch” breaks. Bucky would sit watching her with adoring gazes and with wide smiles. He loved watching her mix colors on her eyes and paint her lips beautiful shades. He loved that after the first few “lunches” he spent with her, she started to bring him a meal as well. All packed up in a brown paper bag with a marker drawn smile on the front. 

While she still wasn’t keen on riding on the back of his bike, she let him walk her to the bus stop every night and wait with her. Her hand would brush against his thigh as they walked at first. As she got more confident, (Y/N) would place a hand in the crook of Bucky’s elbow as they walked, and one day took the leap to entangle her fingers with his. 

Bucky felt like a teenager again. Reveling in small innocent touches and blushing in tandaum when he locked eyes with her. It was all so fresh, new and so pure. It was ironic, considering what they both did for a living. 

In all the new time they were spending together, Bucky was learning as much as he could about her. He learned about her childhood and where she grew up. That she was never close with her parents and moved away at eighteen. He learned she kept mostly to herself, enjoying solace more than being with people (also ironic considering her profession). Bucky found out that she loved retro television shows because they reminded her of summers spent with her grandparents. That she loved strawberries but hated strawberry flavored candy. He learned that when she was sixteen she broke both of her big toes in the same winter, in different accidents. But most of all, Bucky learned that he loved to hear (Y/N) talk, about anything and everything. 

In turn for all the knowledge she was gifting him with, Bucky returned the favor. He told her everything he could remember about himself. Everything that seemed important and everything he knew wasn’t . He didn’t care if it was embarrassing, because at least he’d get to hear her laugh. He was in so deep with her, and he couldn’t find it in him to care. 

The only thing was, (Y/N) had yet to agree to a date with Bucky, and their affections never went past PG status. Bucky wasn’t complaining (at least not out loud) he was happy to have any relationship with her, but he was slowly dying for her touch. He wanted her lips on his, to taste her tongue, her skin, her pussy- anything. He wanted to feel her naked skin against his, he wanted to wake up with her, fall asleep with her, he wanted her etched into his life permanently. But she was still pecking his cheeks and holding his hands. 

Bucky was trying his best to be patient, only losing it at night when he was alone in between his sheets with her perfume still stuck in his nose. His desperate need for (Y/N) was building up and the only way he would release it (aside from his cock in his palm) was to drown her in his protection. 

He assigned an extra man to work the nights she danced so he could feel guilt free about being her personal bodyguard. When she was on stage, he gave murderous glares to men who only threw a few dollars, and wouldn’t let up until they emptied their wallets of bills. When she was on the floor, Bucky was watching men like a hawk, and if he thought for even a second they were a threat to her, he moved her along. (Y/N) never appreciated this, but he always made sure to make it up to her with more murder glares at men for more money. Bucky just needed to make sure she was safe, if she was a little miffed at the night but left unscathed, he was ok with that. 

The only time he couldn’t actively protect her was when she went into one of the private rooms. She usually only went back with her regulars, men who she liked and knew paid big, but it wasn’t always the case. Stark was still her employer, and he saw her as a money maker. Men loved Violet, and if they were willing to shell out an obscene amount of money to be with her, so be it. (Y/N) went along with it, much to Bucky’s anger. 

“I’m not sleeping with them, y’know?” She said one evening to Bucky while he practically pouted. She had been in the back with men all evening. 

“I know, but I don’t like not havin’ eyes on ya, pretty girl. I like to know yer safe and sound.” Bucky placed his hands on her hips and looked down at their feet. 

She grinned, “All I’d have to do is scream and you’d save me.” I know you’d always save me.

“Damn right, I would.” 

xx

A routine had formed. (Y/N) would show up early for her shifts so she had time to spend with Bucky. They would usually snuggle up in the old office attached to the dressing room. There was an old moth bitten couch in the corner and a decrepit black and white television on the wall. Bucky would often have to get up and hit the side of the TV to get the picture to steady out again. But he always returned back to scoop her back in his arms. It was pure bliss. 

It was during one of these sessions, where Bucky had (Y/N) laid across his chest in her street clothes while he ran idle lines up and down her back that Tony knocked on the door. 

“Lovebird A, Lovebird B.” He nodded to both of them.

“Whatda’ya want, Stark?” Bucky almost growled, tightening his grip on (Y/N). He didn’t like his time with her getting interrupted. 

“Well, I would like to speak with my employee? Is that ok with you, other employee?” Stark replied in faux sweetness. 

(Y/N) rose from his chest and gave Bucky a smile, “See ya later, ok?” 

Bucky nodded, all too aware of Stark as he possessively kissed the underside of her jaw before letting her up. 

“Oh, how gracious of you, Barnes!” Tony said in the same tone as before. 

“Don’t push it, Tony.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes as he followed her out of the door. 

Bucky grumbled incoherently as he watched his girl leave. 

xx

Later, Bucky found her changing into her stage outfit and adding more highlight to her cheeks. 

“Hey, what was up with, Stark?” He asked, leaning his hip against her vanity. 

Her shoulders tensed, “Nothing of note.” 

Bucky’s brows furrowed as he took in her rigid posture and how she refused to meet his eyes. 

“Doesn’t seem like nothing, babydoll.” 

(Y/N) didn’t reply, just continued to make herself up for her shift. 

“Hey, look at me,” Bucky took her wrist gently in his fist. 

She stilled and took a calming breath before looking up at him, “What? I’m kinda busy.” 

“Baby, come on. What was it? Did he hurt you?” Bucky’s eyes immediately darkened. 

“What? No, God no!” 

“Then what? You can tell me. You can tell me anything.” Bucky reached for her other wrist so he could pull her to face him. 

“It was nothin’, ok Buck? Nothing.” (Y/N) maneuvered herself out of Bucky’s grasp and placed her now free hands on his chest, “I gotta go, but I’ll see you on my break, right?” 

Bucky nodded.

“Good.” And with that she left. 

Bucky didn’t see her on her break. Scarlett told him she went home sick after her stage dance. 

xx

Bucky feels like he’s losing his mind, and he almost marches up to Tony’s office to demand he tell him what he said to (Y/N) but he knows that would only cause more problems than it would solve. He firstly settles for calling you. Bucky’s not proud of it, but he called 15 times, the first few with voicemails left, the middle and last calls with none. He was calling on autopilot at that point

When you had yet to answer after 15 god damn calls, Bucky, in an anxious tyrid, finds Scarlett again. 

“I’m not telling you that.” She scoffed at him, meeting his gaze in her mirror. 

“Please, I’m just worried.”

“No, freak. I’m not giving you her home address.” 

“Scarlett, can I call you Scarlett?” She just crossed her arms, “(Y/N) and Tony had some big talk before she went home sick and I’m goin’ out of my mind worryin’ about her, ok? She’s not pickin’ up and I’m freakin’ out.” 

Scarlett watched Bucky’s reflection with a scrutinizing gaze. She sat for a long while letting Bucky stew in anticipation before her arms when flaccid at her sides and she gave a dramatic sigh. 

“Fine. You seem like you mean it, and I have seen you and Vi hangin’ out.” Scarlett swivels around in her seat to look up at a hopeful Bucky, “I will give you her address, but you do not give it to anyone else, understand? If you do I’ll sick my boyfriend on you. I don’t care if you’re the leader of some stupid gang or not, I will have him fuck. You. Up. Clear?” 

“Crystal.” 

Scarlett wrote (Y/N)’s address on a napkin with purple lip liner and Bucky was off. 

xx

She recognized the hum of Bucky’s bike before he rang her bell. Was he overstepping? Possibly. Did it feel good to know someone cared enough about you to show up at your house to make sure you were ok? Hell yes. 

After ringing her bell like a mad man, Bucky took a step back when he heard the lock click and watched the door open to reveal her. 

“Too what do I owe this pleasure, Mr. Barnes?” (Y/N) leant against the door frame causally. 

Her hair was tied up and away from her face, and she wore a large tshirt that swallowed her whole. Bucky wanted to appreciate her sleepwear longer, but his anxiety won out. 

“You went home sick after actin’ weird with me in the dressin’ room. Got me worried out of my head, darlin’.” Bucky ran a restless hand through his hair. 

“I told you-”

“That it was nothin’, I know. But baby, I’ve gotten to know you over these past few weeks and I know that this ain’t nothin’. I want you to be happy and safe, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what’s goin’ on.” Bucky stepped forward, removing her hands from where they were clenched at the bottom of her t-shirt and took them in his.

“Tell me what happened, baby.” Bucky whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

“You’re gonna be mad at me.” (Y/N)’s voice was small and tight with unshed tears. 

“Never, I could never be mad at you, babygirl.” Bucky cooed. 

“No, you will. That’s why I left. I don’t want you to be mad.” 

She was trying her hardest to keep her tears at bay and failing miserably. Bucky’s heart shattered as he watched her tears gloss over her cheeks. He wanted to wipe them away, but didn’t want to let go of her hands, which were currently clutching his own tightly. 

“Why don’t we go inside, huh?” He spoke gently, not wanting to upset her further. 

(Y/N) nodded, retching one of her hands away from Bucky to wipe her tears and to lead him inside. 

Bucky shut the door behind him as she led him deeper into her home. The circumstances weren’t ideal, but Bucky felt a warmth settle over his chest that she was allowing him into her space. Her tiny bungalow with vintage furnishings and taupe walls. There were pictures of her and friends in her living room and a dog eared A Room Of One’s Own on a mahogany coffee table. This was a little glimpse into secret parts of her. 

He followed her through the home until they reached her kitchen. The tile was pale green and her refrigerator was covered in magnets. It made him smile. She moved them to sit at her small table, Bucky’s fingers still laced with her’s. 

“I… Tony…” Came (Y/N)’s false starts. 

“Take your time, babygirl. You’re ok.” Bucky ran his thumb over her knuckles comfortingly. 

She took a deep breath, “When Tony called me to his office he told me I have an offer.” 

Bucky’s thumb stilled. 

When a dancer receives an offer, it meant that a customer has offered to pay Tony a sum of money to have sex with her. The client would have to explain exactly what they wanted up front and if Tony agreed, they could do most anything with the girl. Up until now, (Y/N) had been decisively adamant with Tony that that was never something she was interested in. Up until then, Tony seemed to respect her limits.

“From who?” Bucky’s jaw was tense. 

(Y/N) could sense his anger and gripped his hand tighter. She desperately wanted him to stay level headed about this whole thing. 

“I’m not sure. Some Russian businessman. I don’t remember his name.” 

“Did’ja say you’d do it?” His voice was low and mencasing. 

“I said that I don’t do that. But Tony’s really stubborn that I do it. It’s a lot of money, more than I’ve made on anything, ever. And Tony said it would be really good for him and business.” She couldn’t meet his gaze. 

“So, you’re gonna fuck this Russian guy for Tony?” He spat. 

(Y/N) winced at his tone, “You said you wouldn’t get mad.” 

“M’not mad, I’m asking a question.” Bucky tried to refrain from grinding his teeth. 

“I don’t know, ok? I don’t. I don’t want to have sex this guy, but it’s a lot of money. And Tony’s always looked out for me, and if I can help him… I don’t know… maybe this is how I can repay him for always being there for me.” You shrugged. 

Bucky couldn’t believe what she was saying. Repay Tony? For taking half her earnings and making his dancers, her friends, fuck men for money? Repay Tony for having little to no security to keep her or her coworkers safe until the 107th came along? Repay Tony for treating her like meat for him to profit off of? 

“If you think Stark gives two shits about you or any of those girls, you’re wrong.”

“Bucky-” (Y/N)’s reprimand was cut off. 

“He pimps you all out for cash and gives you fuckin’ pennies for it! If you knew how much he made verus how much he gives you, you’d be fuckin’ steamin’!” Bucky exclaimed. 

“He gave me a chance when I needed one, Buck. He’s always been kind to me, helped me when I needed it.” She defended. 

“He’s a liar and a cheat. He uses you, all of you. He’s selling you, how does that not make you furious?” 

“Do you think I like this? Because I don’t! But I like dancing, I like this job! I don’t want to fuck this guy, but just- I don’t know ok?”

Bucky abruptly stood, leaving (Y/N)’s hands unignorably cold and aching for his warm skin. 

He paced the length of her small, shoebox kitchen while clenching and unclenching his fists. She watched him with bated breath and wide eyes and a fragile heart.

The silence that settled over them was painful. With every second that went unresolved, the pain only worsened. Bucky’s jaw was clenched, a vein protruding from his forehead. If she wasn’t so terrified, she would have commented on how good he looked like this.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky spoke so abruptly and with no such anger it caused (Y/N) to flinch. 

“Because I thought you would be angry.” 

“But why? Why would you think I would be angry?”

Bucky’s mind was racing. Thoughts, worries, fears and threats all jumbled together, jumping over one another to seek the front of his brain. He couldn’t organize all his emotions in this moment, standing in her dim kitchen while tears spilled on your cheeks. The only thing he could keep straight was that (Y/N) kept this offer secret from him because she was scared he wouldn’t approve. Was it because she had grown accustomed to his presence and knew he was protective? Or was it that she had grown accustomed to his presence, knew he was protective and something more? 

(Y/N)’s touches had become constant, chaste kisses became hotter and lingered to the corners of his mouth, her hands were always twinded in his and she was always eager to be near him. He was sick of the cat and mouse game they were playing, sick of the will they or won’t they dynamic in this moment. Knowing that she had an offer had caused his primal instincts to surpass any will power he had previously had. 

“I don’t know… you’re protective of me.” (Y/N) refused to meet his gaze and busied herself with loose threads on her t-shirt. 

“That’s not the whole reason and you know it.” 

“I don’t know what you mean…” 

Bucky almost wanted to ask her what she did know, but stopped himself from being so cruel. 

“Yes you do. C’mon you fuckin’ know!” 

She stayed silent, focusing on anything but the furious man above her. 

“Want me to tell ya? Want me to fuckin’ say it? Cause I will.” 

Silence.

“You like me. There, now it’s out.” Bucky spat, “You like me and you didn’t want to. You wanted to be aloof and that changed. You changed.”

“You were worried I was gonna be angry because I’ve been fuckin’ transparent about how I feel about ya this whole time, doll! I am, have been and will always be crazy about you.” 

Bucky fell to his knees in front of you, something he had never done for anyone before. He peeled her hands from fussing with each other and gripped them in his own. 

“Baby, please, please look at me.” Bucky begged, eyes pleading for her to meet them.

(Y/N)’s eyes met his only briefly before skipping around the room again. Even from that quick glance, Bucky could tell she was terrified. 

“Baby, I am so fuckin’ crazy about you. I don’t wanna say that word yet, because when I say it I need’ta know you’ll say it back. But know that feelin’s there, it’s there and I hope it’s in ya too. So just tell me, anything. Say what you feel for me. Please.” His voice was full of raw emotion and vulnerability. 

She could hear, hell, she could feel it in her bones. And yet… 

“Buck, I’m sorry, I…” 

She didn’t finish, but Bucky knew what would have been said if she had. 

He dropped his head in defeat, resting his forehead against their joined hands. 

“Ok. Ok, fine.” He replied after a beat of silence. 

Bucky stood, tearing his hands away from hers, and rubbed his palms against his thighs. 

(Y/N)’s head snapped up and watched as Bucky struggled to speak. He was trying not to collapse onto her kitchen floor. He was so hopeful, months of passionate feelings had culminated to this moment, and she had rejected him. A feeling Bucky was not used too, certainly not with women. He knew, truly and fully in his heart that (Y/N) did have feelings for him, but without her confession, it all meant nothing. 

“I’m gonna go.” He nodded, doing his best to keep his tears at bay. 

“Buck, no, please.” She choked out. 

All he could do was shake his head, afraid what it would do to his masculinity if he spoke. 

“I’m sorry, but just please! Please, don’t leave me.” (Y/N) sobbed, grasping his hand as he did his best to shake her away. 

Bucky blocked out her wailing as he pushed his way to your door, onto your porch and to his bike in a broken haze. 

He needed to get away. 

So much so, he didn’t see her crumpled in the doorway, screaming out for him.


	4. chapter iii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) goes to talk to bucky. confessions ensue.

(Y/N) had never been to Bucky’s place of business. Hell, she hadn’t even known it had existed until that morning when she had called Tony in a fit of sobs, begging him to tell her where Bucky would be. She had kept her distance respectfully out of some faux professionalism. That’s what she told herself at least. 

Though, the truth had always been that she was too fucking terrifed to let herself fall head first into love again. To let someone in again. She had made her peace with being alone, and she really wasn’t bitter. She liked her own company, she liked watching television alone and listening to her own commentary. She liked her time on her own, she liked only trusting herself. 

She, as much as she could, liked her life just the way it was. 

But, what’s that saying? You find love when you aren’t looking for it?

It was true, because when she first saw Bucky, leaving Tony’s office with a scowl and a small cut above his eye, she felt an overwhelming sense of warmth fill her blood. Just one look and suddenly her heart, dusty from disuse, started humming in her chest.

(Y/N) tried, she tried so fucking hard. To keep him at bay, to be polite and kind to him in the most professional way possible, but it was no use. Because somehow, Bucky felt that same overwhelming warmth, the same pull the same adoration. He was a risker, a gambler. He was willing to risk everything for her… and it made no sense at all. He wanted her. With all her cracks and broken pieces, he still wanted her. 

She couldn’t stop replaying the shattered expression on his face the night before in her mind. She wanted more than anything to spring herself on him, pepper him with kisses and apologies, ask him to never let her go. But she couldn’t. The fear had won out.

When he finally shook her off his hands, Bucky had ran so quick to his bike, (Y/N) couldn’t blink her tears away fast enough to watch him go. She willed herself to think this was for the best, but the hollow ache in her chest and the insane buzzing in her mind told her otherwise. 

After a fitful night’s rest full of tears and shaking limbs, (Y/N) knew what she had to do. 

With shadows under her lashes and her hands curled into the sleeves of her jacket, (Y/N) wandered over the threshold of the shabby looking bar. The large wooden door was wide open, propped open with a cinder block and she could see men mulling around inside, large hands around the necks of beer bottles and filling the air with smoke from their lungs. She approached the bar and cleared her throat, hoping someone would hear her over the loud voice and guitar solos coming from the stereo. 

Luckily (or unluckily, her nerves hadn’t decided), someone noticed her. (Y/N) recognized him as one of Bucky’s men from the club. He had a slim build and was much shorter than Bucky with a mop of black hair. She always thought that his face was far too kind and soft to be a biker. 

“Violet?” (Y/N) blistered at the name, “What are you doing here? Are you ok?” 

The man made his way toward her, eyes full of concern as he took in her appearance. She was sure he was disgusted with the looks of her. He was used to seeing her half naked and looking beautiful, not sleep deprived in a large construction jacket. 

“I was just wondering if Bucky was around?” She asked, trying to have her tone sound more polite and less defeated. 

The man’s eyes widened, his head bobbing loosely as he cleared his throat, “Yeah, yeah, of course! He’s here, he’s just in the back.” 

He ducked under the bar to meet her on the other side and ushered her deeper inside.

She felt small and embarrassed. She felt ugly and pathetic under the gazes of the men she passed. 

Staring at her feet the entire time, (Y/N) almost hit the man’s back when he stopped in front of her. He just offered her a small smile. They were now in the very back of the large room and down a dark hallway standing in front of a door.

“Let me just knock to make sure he’s free.” 

He rapped his knuckles on the door, and when (Y/N) heard Bucky’s voice call out, her stomach flipped. 

“It’s me, you got’a visitor.” 

There was a shuffle from inside the room (Y/N) and the biker stood outside of, she could hear the floorboards moan under Bucky’s feet and then the door was whipped open. 

“Scott, who in the fuck-” Bucky’s voice halted, leaving his sentence awkward and hanging in the air as he spotted you, huddled behind Scott’s shoulder. 

“(Y/N)?” He said her name like he couldn’t help it, her presence such a surprise his tongue needed to verify she was real. 

“May I speak with you?” She asked, avoiding his gaze, her bland old sneakers too entertaining to look away. 

“Uh, yeah. I guess.” He recovered from the light vulnerability he had shown before and Scott stepped out of (Y/N)’s way. 

She didn’t see it, but Bucky’s hands flinched with need as he willed himself not to touch her.

(Y/N) walked into the room, which revealed itself to be Bucky’s office once she was inside. There was a large dilapidated desk with an overstuffed leather chair behind it. A smattering of mismatched living room furniture covered the room, from a fabric loveseat to a wicker rocking chair. There were no windows in the office, just a dull, flickering light above them, the place casing full of black spots of dead flies. 

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asked, the first to break the silence. 

“I needed to see you.” (Y/N) said softly, her back to Bucky as he rested himself against the closed door. 

“Why?” 

“Let’s not start with the ‘why’s’ again, ok?” She tried to lighten the mood to no avail. 

“I’m not fuckin’ jokin’ around, (Y/N). Why the fuck are you here? Why do you ‘need’ to see me?” His voice was cold, a tone she had never heard directed at her before. 

With a deep breath and the realization that she hated that he hadn’t called her an affectionate pet name, (Y/N) turned to face him. Bucky looked devastatingly handsome, his long hair pushed back, a flannel shirt hugging his body with a white shirt underneath, his signature leather jacket hanging on an old wire coat rack next him. She wanted to close her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him as she spoke, but when she shut her eyes even for a moment, Bucky’s heartbroken face from the night before fled to her vision. 

“I need to apologize to you, for a lot. For everything.” 

Bucky said nothing, but looked intrigued. 

“I’m just… m’fuckin’ scared, Buck. This is a lot for me. Because you, God… you make me feel, so, so much. So much more than I ever thought I could feel, or ever feel again. And that just is so-” She silently cursed herself as tears started to flow down her cheeks. 

Bucky’s stoic resolve crumbled when he saw tears on her cheeks, he rushed to her, “Hey, hey. It’s ok baby, I’m here, it’s ok.” 

(Y/N) just shook her head, “But it’s not! I hurt you, I hurt you Bucky, and I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about me, baby. Please, it’s alright, it’s ok now.” He cooed to her, pulling her to his chest. 

“I don’t want to hurt you! It’s not ok, I never want you to be sad Buck, let alone because of me.” (Y/N) wailed into his chest, clutching onto him for dear life. 

“You’re such a wonderful man, and I hurt you.” 

Bucky hushed her, cradling her tightly and purring calmly in her ear. 

“I need to be honest with you. I need you to know everything to see if you still want me, if you can forgive me.” Her voice was muffled into the fabric of his shirt, but Bucky heard her loud and clear. 

He pried (Y/N) away just enough to see her flushed, damp face, “There is nothing on this Earth that could make me not want you, sweet girl. My heart beats for you, only you, and you forever.” 

(Y/N) whined sweetly at his words and huddled closer to him again. She needed him to keep her grounded. Bucky happily accepted her back. 

“Can we sit?” 

“Of course, c’mere.” 

Bucky led (Y/N) to the ugly cloth couch that sounded rough against their soft clothes. Bucky didn’t let her escape his arms, only repositioned her so she could speak easier. 

“So you know I’m not really close with my parents, right?” She asked, unattractively wiping her dripping nose on her coat sleeve. 

Bucky nodded in return, rubbing her back in silent support. 

“Well, they had always been, let’s say less than responsible. They were heavy gamblers, always good at hiding it, though. I knew they went to the casino on Friday’s and I knew my dad had a poker night, but I never knew how bad it was until I started applying for colleges. 

“I ended up getting accepted to a dental hygiene program and I was so excited about it! But when I went to ask for the details on my college fund, they both looked at me like I was crazy, pretending they had never told me I had one in the first place. When I went to the bank to apply for some loans I figured out what they had done. All the years of gambling and stupid fucking debts to people had never seemed to hit us very hard, at least not as hard as it should have. Well, that was because that had transformed, most if not all of their debt into my name. They essentially stole my identity. And stole every last dime of my college fund my grandmother set up for me.”

Bucky’s embraced tighten and she was thankful for his strong hold. 

“I confronted them, and basically nothing came from it. They denied it, then they blamed each other, then me, then it was over. I packed my shit and took what little baby sitting money I had left and took the first bus I could find. That’s where I met him.” 

(Y/N) visibly paled and Bucky felt his stomach clench even tighter. 

“My bus took me to Chicago. I was working two waitressing jobs and living in a four bedroom apartment with six other girls and just barely scraping by. I had no one, no money, no safety net. It was so, so awful. And I think now, after hours of replaying everything and over analyzing every movement, I think he saw this. He saw someone who just wanted someone- anyone to be her friend.”

“His name was Justin,” Bucky fucking hated him already, “And he was really sweet. We met at one of the restaurants I was working at. He’d come in every day, loosen his tie and order a key lime pie and a hot chocolate to go. We would talk a little, flirt… I thought he was handsome but certainly wasn’t looking for anyone to date. But then he started to stay to eat his pie. And I started to stay after my shifts to talk to him. We were both young and had big dreams for the future. I still wanted to figure out how to go to college, he was an intern at this fancy shmancy tech company and being groomed for a promotion. He was easy to talk to.” 

If it wasn’t for her complete lack of emotion when talking about this Justin, Bucky would have been seething with jealousy. 

“One day he just asked me out, and it seemed so stupid to say no. Even though I wasn’t looking for anything and I knew I shouldn’t be dating, all I could feel was happiness and relief. Here was this guy, who was so sweet, smart, had so much potential and he wanted me? It just didn’t make sense.” (Y/N) looked confused, even now. It broke something deep in Bucky’s chest. 

“We started dating, I moved in with him, I thought I loved him and just… I don’t know, I remember thinking all the time ‘Hey! This is great, he’s so great,’ until he wasn’t. But by then, I was so starved for love, I think I would have stayed forever if things hadn’t plateaued so quickly. What was a small fight and a quick makeup, turned into screaming matches where the cops were almost always called. He was mad at me about everything, I couldn’t blink without that somehow being an offense to him.” 

She paused and Bucky waited with baited breath, he was scared to hear more, but knew they both needed this. 

“He’d lie and lie and lie… and I’d catch him and he’d call me crazy and make me feel like my brain was scrambled and I couldn’t live without. I mean, how could I if I couldn’t even remember what time he said he would be home correctly, y’know?” She gnawed at her cheek and avoided Bucky’s gaze. 

“Then the fucking drugs started… God I sound like such a fucking cliche, huh? Poor, wide eyed innocent girl meets some guy who treats her like shit so she gets into stripping?” She laughed but Bucky knew it was canned. 

Bucky tsked, “I’m a biker, covered in tattoos, who always wears a leather jacket and runs a seedy bar as a cover. I think we’re even.”

This earned him a genuine smile and he preened. 

“Yeah well, the cliches don’t stop there. Because on top of the fights and the gaslighting and the manipulation, he started getting into some bad shit. He started skipping work, going out all night, getting high all hours of the day, stealing from me. It got really ugly toward the end, especially the night when he came home so high off coke he punched me square in the jaw.” 

Bucky clenched his teeth so fast and hard, he swore he heard a filling crack. 

“He what?” He fumed, standing abruptly, looming over her.

“Hey, sit down. It was a long time ago.” (Y/N) took one of his hands and tugged him toward her. 

“I don’t give a shit if it was a long time ago, he touched you. He fucking hurt you! I don’t care if it was another lifetime, another century ago, I will fucking kill him!” His voice was deep with murderous anger and she could see the tips of his ears flare red. 

She hated to admit that this was a total turn on for her. 

“Hey, well does it help that that was the final straw? That I packed my shit right then and there?” She asked, persuading him to sit back down with her. 

“A little.”

“Then sit,” She patted his previous seat.

Bucky does as she says, because he doesn’t think that he could ever refuse her anything, and quickly scoops her back up and plasters her protectively to his chest. He needs her close, like Justin was somehow waiting in the wings for her. 

“With just a duffle bag I went to a bar close to our apartment and ordered a drink. My face looked fucked and I was bawling my eyes out, so a lot of people were staring at me. While I sobbed into my vodka soda, a man sat next to me. He reached over the bar, grabbed a bar rag, a handful of ice and assembled me an ice pack. I barely looked at him, I was scared and highly embarrassed, but when I looked in his eyes, all I saw was kindness.”

“And that’s how I met Tony.” 

Suddenly, it all made sense to Bucky. His girl went on to explain that he was soothing to her, like the father she had wished she had. After she spilled her guts to him on her life story, he offered her a lifeline: A reliable job in another state, where she could start fresh and be creative. Bucky held back a snort at the word choice and let her continue. She auditioned for him a few days later in the bare bones of what would become Hot Stuff, and Stark gushed to her that she was a natural, that she had a job for life. 

“Then I became Violet. This girl who wasn’t scared of anything, who could be snarky and sexy and dance however she wanted. She wasn’t me, scared, damaged, fucked up (Y/N). I love Violet more than I love myself. She helped me find my calling.” She said, eyes cast down with a small smile on her perfect lips.

This, this entire heartbreaking story, was why she was even considering the offer she was given. Why she stayed at Hot Stuff for the past three years instead of moving on like most girls did. She felt like she owed Tony a life debt, but a debt nonetheless. A debt that she refused to stand or wash away like her parents had. She wanted Tony to love her, be proud of her, in the way no one else ever had. 

Except, now for him. 

“And that’s why I was scared of you, scared to admit how I felt. I felt like at every turn someone was hurting me, Justin and my parents weren’t the last, just the most significant. Opening up, trusting someone again, only meant I was opening myself to be used, again. To be thrown out and abused when I had fulfilled my usefulness.” She sniffled. 

“And I mean, your job it’s.. I mean I had gone through the drugs and the lies and abuse before. You can’t blame me for bein’ a little hesitant… But then I got to know you, and I wanted to believe you and everything you said, but I couldn’t, it was too scary, Buck. You were too scary, you seemed like the wrong choice, but I was wrong.” (Y/N) her voice was tight with unshed tears as she hid her face in Bucky’s neck as he rocked her soothingly. 

“Shh shh, it’s ok. There is nothing to apologize for. I understand, I’m not mad, baby. Not even a little bit. Thank you for telling me, thank you for sharing, thank you for trusting me.” Bucky cooed, doing anything in his power to protect the crumbling girl in his arms. 

“But-” 

“No buts. No nothing.” Bucky’s voice left no room for arguments, so she nuzzled closer to his exposed inked skin and waited for her tears to die down. 

When they did, Bucky tore her just far enough away from his to cup her cheeks in his hands. Her eyes were rimmed red and her cheeks were glossy. Her lips were flushed and bitten raw and Bucky swore he had never seen anyone look so beautiful. He ached for her even though she was right in front of him. 

“I need you to know this, ok? What I’m about to say, I mean more than anything I have ever said in my life, alright? You got it?” Bucky said, looking straight into her eyes. 

She nodded, leaning into his touch, something he adored. 

“I am fuckin’ crazy about you. So fuckin’ crazy about you, and I have never felt the way I feel about you with anyone else ever before. You are runnin’ around my mind all day, remindin’ me of how fuckin’ smart and funny and bright and beautiful you are until I see you again. And when I do? Baby, my heart still beats like crazy out of my chest. I see you and I think ‘how is it fuckin’ possible she got more beautiful?’ but then bam! There you are proving me wrong.” 

She looks bashful at his admittance, but he won’t let her look anywhere but at him. 

“I know you’ve been hurt, I know people have used you. And I will fuckin’ kill every last one of ‘em. You give me their names and I’m out the door, teachin’ them the lesson of what happens when they hurt the kindest, softest soul I have ever met.”

She whimpers his name and Bucky has never felt more sappy in his life (even when he just a few minutes prior threatened murder). But he meant what he said, he’d never felt like this before. So maybe being sappy is what she brought out in him. He admits to himself that he likes this feeling, likes feeling soft and feeling her gentle and plied with love in his arms.

“I feel whole when I’m with you, I feel happy and calm and safe and myself. You make me so fuckin’ happy, (Y/N/N). I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make sure that you know how important you are. To work at making you feel happy and calm and safe and yourself. I will do anything for you. I will protect you from fuckin’ anything. I will never, and I swear this, ever hurt you.” 

She is crying, but these are different tears and Bucky can tell because of the blooming smile on her lips. 

“That sounds a lot like a proposal.” She jokes, her voice happy and wet with tears. 

“Baby, it is if you want it to be. I’ll go buy a ring right now.” And by God he meant it. 

“No ring yet.” Yet. 

“I’m just happy to have you, just like this. Just mine.” She curls her hands in the front of his flannel and looks content. 

“God, yes baby. Just yours. And you, just mine.” 

“Just yours.” 

After months of pining and chaste touches and snuggles and fights and smiles and tears, Bucky finally slots his lips with her own and it feels like absolute heaven. Jolts of pleasure shoot through his body as his hands grip her flush to him, his stomach doing pleasant somersaults. She tastes like tears and toothpaste and something so decadent he can’t place, something so delicious and just her. He’s never felt so in tune to someone, never enjoyed just kissing so much. But as she wiggles her pelvis down on his timidly and whimpers sweetly into his mouth, Bucky knew that he could never give her away, never let her out of his sight, let alone out of his life. He pitied every single person who had left her, because when they realized what they lost, Bucky was never going to be gracious and return her. 

She is fucking his. His (Y/N). And she will be until the end of time.


	5. chapter iv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally free of secrets and hidden feelings, bucky and (y/n) are extraordinarily happy together. but good times don’t last forever, especially with bucky’s looming bad luck.
> 
> ps formatting is a bit fucked but im too sleep deprived to fix it lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> descriptions of violence and allusions of attempted sexual assault. pleaseeeee be careful if this may trigger you!!

Bucky was floating. He hadn’t wiped the smile of his face since you’d come to the bar a week ago, much to Sam’s chagrin. 

“You’re supposed to look fuckin’ scary! You’re supposed to make us look intimidating!” Clint nodded along, providing his friend a united front. 

“Give ‘im a break! He’s in love now, but it’ll wear off.” Erik replied, clapping Bucky on the back. 

“Not this time. Not when it’s her.” Bucky shrugs, he can hear his brothers groan and gag around him. 

He and his men were all lazing around their bar, Commandos, enjoying the uncharacteristic lull in action. Usually, there was a deal to be made, a fire to put out, a body to bury. Not since the incident with the Skrulls a few months ago had anything gone wrong. They were frockling in the money from Hot Stuff and living life without a chip on their shoulders for once. 

“Then go get her and get the fuck outta here, we don’t need to hear this pussy shit.” Quill hollered and the rest of his men laughed. 

Bucky raised his hands in defeat as he rose to his feet, he was due to be leaving for (Y/N)’s house any second to pick her up for work. He had no problem showing up a bit early. 

The boys all threw well meaning jabs his way as Bucky exited the bar. The group was rowdy and in good spirits until the familiar sound of cartilage snapping filled the room. Conversations halted and breath stuck uncomfortably in mens chests as all whipped around to where the sound omitted. 

Bucky was holding Quill’s face firmly against the tabletop beneath him, the injured man writhing in pain. Bucky wrenched him back up by the hair, Quill’s mouth opening involuntarily as he weakly gasped for breath. Everyone could see the blood trickling from his nostrils and trickling down his face. Crimson gathering falling into his mouth and dribbling down his chin to dot the table top. Quill was spitting out the rusty liquid in his desperate search for breath. 

Bucky said nothing else as he removed his hand from Quill’s hair and shook his hand like he was shucking away his disgust from touching the man. No one questioned or spoke up on why Bucky had just lashed out at the now shuttering man, they could all sense Quill had taken the teasing too far and rubbed their president the wrong way. It was becoming clear that his devotion to this stripper was unlike any of the 107th had ever seen.

As Bucky finally exited the bar, he wore a smug smile. He was still the fucking boss, and he took disrespect from no one. And now, neither did his girl.

xx

(Y/N) heard the rumble of Bucky’s car outside and felt her stomach spark with excitement. She pressed her nose to the window by her front door and waited for the familiar red car to slide into view. 

(Y/N) missed how he looked straddling his motorcycle, but she was still too scared to join him, no matter how much he coaxed. 

_“You don’t even gotta do any of the work, baby girl. You just gotta hold on.” Bucky was sitting on his bike with a hand extended for her._

_(Y/N) stood a few yards away on the sidewalk looking skeptical._

_“Something could happen…”_

_“Nothin’s gonna happen.”_

_“You could have a brain hemorrhage and we both could fly off and splat like eggs on the pavement, we could get hit by the a truck going around a corner, we could-“_

_She was ticking her reasons off on her fingers when he cut her off._

_“Sweet girl, I’ve been ridin’ since I was fourteen.”_

_“Well that doesn’t sound safe or legal.” She replied._

_“Baby,” Bucky’s voice was stern but with no bite._

_“I just, I can’t, I'm not ready…” (Y/N) toed the pavement under her feet and tried to not sound as nervous as she actually was._

_“Ok.”_

_“Ok? Just like that?”_

_“Of course, baby. I never want to force you into anything.” Bucky smiled back at her._

_She beamed at him and rushed to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard. Bucky smiles against her lips hugging her tightly to him and dipping her dramatically low._

_“You’re too sweet.” She says when she pulls away, rubbing her nose to his._

_“Eh, only for you.” ___

__Now, (Y/N) bounds down the small steps of her patio and out toward her Bucky._ _

__Her breath catches as he sends her her favorite heart stopping smile, the one he’s adorned all week._ _

__Bucky opened his arms for her and she happily fell into his waiting hold. The second his arms closed around her he hummed in delight._ _

__“Mmm, good afternoon to you too, sweet thing.”_ _

__She felt dizzy and her brain body felt fuzzy with adoration._ _

__“I missed you.” She placed her chin on his chest and looked up at him with a pout._ _

__“I miss you every second you’re away, (Y/N/N).” All inflections of teasing are gone as he says it with pure love and sincerity._ _

__“Could I persuade you to never leave me then?”_ _

__She felt Bucky’s chest vibrate happily under her, “I think you could.”_ _

__He kissed her once more, hoping to make her happy while he could. Because once she got to work, she was going to have to talk to Tony._ _

__xx_ _

__When (Y/N) told Bucky that her discussion with Tony was something she needed to do on her own, his jaw clenched and his left eyebrow twitched, a tell tale sign that he wanted to fight her but was holding back. She knew he just wanted to protect her, but this wasn’t the time for his raging masculinity and chest puffing. She wanted to handle this conversation with Tony as professionally and cordially as possible. Bucky’s scowl and looming frame would only work to accomplish the opposite._ _

__So, (Y/N) batted her eyes and asked Bucky to put some of the make up away on her vanity before her shift so he could keep his mind and hands busy with something other than worrying about her conversation with Tony upstairs._ _

__When she entered his office, Tony was grinning at her. (Y/N) wanted to think it was because it was that he was happy to see her, but she knew it was because he thought she was accepting his offer._ _

__“You look nervous, kid. Loosen up! It’s a beautiful day. Sun’s out, I found the discontinued Tom Ford Gucci loafers I thought I lost, all is good under the roof of our little chapel today.” Tony said, walking around his grand desk and plopping casually in his deep maroon desk chair._ _

__“Well Tom Ford did do some good work for Gucci.” She laughed uncomfortably and tried to force a smile, something she was never good at in her personal life._ _

__When she was Violet, she was transformed into a new person. She was Violet and Violet was good at everything (Y/N) wasn’t. She could smile through any sleazy speech and lie without some much as a blink, all while gyrating beautifully._ _

__“What’s up, sugar plum? Do you want the loafers? If you’re a womens 9 we might be able to share.” Tony joked, though his eyes were turning dark. The friendly pal who had greeted her was quickly morphing into the cold blooded business man who was getting testy with his employee._ _

__There was an uncomfortably long pause before (Y/N) found the courage to speak._ _

__“Tony… I can’t. I’m sorry.” She shifted her shoulders and tried to think of Bucky’s cologne to calm her. _Lavender and oak and the scent of smoke and a little gasoline. _  
She didn’t need to specify, Tony knew.___ _

____“Well, then I think you are making a grave mistake, kiddo. Did you really think about it?” He sighed, pushing himself up from his chair and rounding his desk to stand in front of her._ _ _ _

____(Y/N) felt small and powerless, exactly what he wanted. Ruthless boss to his scared employee._ _ _ _

____“I did. A lot. And I found out that no amount of money is worth it to me.”_ _ _ _

____Tony curled his lips in and took a long deep breath._ _ _ _

____“Barnes’ have something to do with this?”_ _ _ _

____She shook her head._ _ _ _

____“He doesn’t like me, y’know? I give him everything and he decides to poach my best dancer to become his _old lady _?” His face scrunches in disgust.___ _ _ _

______“The only reason he’s doing this is to prove something to me. That stupid fuck.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tony begins to pace._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You sure know how to pick ‘em, huh? Because he’s just like the fuck you left! He doesn’t want you to be on your own, for you to make a fuck load on money from a one night deal! To be independent. This should offend you, he doesn’t respect you, not with this job.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Enough!” (Y/N) thrust herself from her chair and stood toe to toe with Tony, both fuming._ _ _ _ _ _

______“This has nothing to do with Bucky and nothing to do with my job! This has to do with me. Me, and the fact that I don’t want to do something! If a woman wants to fuck someone for money, good! More power to her. Who I am to judge? But the difference between her and I is that I don’t want to!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I ask you one thing, one favor…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Tony, I need you to be ok with me not doing this. Because I can’t. I won’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Never thought I’d see the day you of all people disappointed me, kid. But here we are.” Tony replied._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, well I guess here we are.” Her hands slapped uselessly at her sides._ _ _ _ _ _

______Giving Tony one last glare before storming from his office in search of Bucky. Doing everything she could to fight her tears until she was safe in his arms._ _ _ _ _ _

______xx_ _ _ _ _ _

______When she found Bucky sitting in front of her vanity (now perfectly organized), playing with a makeup sponge like a paper football, she felt instant relief._ _ _ _ _ _

______He hadn’t seen her enter yet, so when she shrunk down to his level and wrapped herself around him like a koala, he released a shocked grunt. But Bucky didn’t move, didn’t speak, only wrapped her tightly up against him and swayed her softly. She didn’t say a word either, just ran her nose along his collarbone, inhaling his soothing scent she had tried so hard to conjure before. Bucky knew whatever had happened upstairs hadn’t been good, something he expected but still couldn’t prepare himself for. He felt (Y/N) gently shaking against him, her breaths broken and shallow._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sweet girl? My heart?” He says, kissing the crown of her head, “Baby, what happened?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky tried not to sound as scared as he was. Or as brimming with potential energy as he could feel in his bones. If (Y/N) mentioned one out of line thing Tony had said to her, he was prepared to rip the smaller man limb from limb. He’d kill Tony in cold blood with no remorse for hurting his love._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Take me home, Bucky. Take me home.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky shivered, her breath dusting his neck, her words soft and sad. He decided not to question her anymore, not yet. He just brought her legs around his hips, stood, and walked her to the parking lot._ _ _ _ _ _

______xx_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky brings her to his home, their own little love nest for the past week. (Y/N) lived with a roommate, Hope, who wasn’t around often, but was incredibly nosey when she was. So, the couple decided Bucky’s little bungalow would more than suffice for them to just be together._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky maneuvered her around in his hold to unlock his door without having to set her down. When they entered his house, the comforting aura of his little house that she had quickly come to love washed over her. It was always just a few degrees too cold and had the faint smell of motor oil and tires. The walls were a tawny beige and he had little furnishing or decorations around. Just a few picture frames of him and his mother and him with the boys. There was a Metallica poster held up with thumbtacks on the wall near the bathroom, but that was it._ _ _ _ _ _

______When he had first showed (Y/N) his house, Bucky felt stripped and scared. He never brought women into his space, always fucking them in his office or an alleyway. This was a first and he didn’t know the protocol. But, of course, she was adorable and sweet and reassuring._ _ _ _ _ _

______“We should get you some more pictures or posters or magnets, I think that would be so cute. Maybe a bookshelf or coffee table? What do y’think?” She had turned to him with thoughtful eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky never thought of the word ‘cute’ and himself in the same sentence. Ever. But if she wanted him to be cute, his home to be cute, he’d do it. He’d be fucking cute._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I like it. I’d need your help, though.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She beamed back at him._ _ _ _ _ _

______Now, even in the short week they had been together, his house felt more like home than ever. Hair ties littered most surfaces; a purple toothbrush was next to his yellow one; a bathroom trash can filled with lipstick blotted toilet paper; a copy of Three Men in a Boat on his dresser with her name scrawled on the inside cove; her perfume scented in his bedding. She had unknowingly left her subtle mark everywhere he looked. Bucky had long ago decided he wouldn’t have it any other way._ _ _ _ _ _

______xx_ _ _ _ _ _

______(Y/N) realizes they must have fallen asleep in his bed after he brought her home. Her body always had dealt with trouble and trauma with naps._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rolled on her side, (Y/N) could feel Bucky’s presence behind her. His soft breath fanning her neck and the sound of his soft sleepy hums calmed her. As she starts to crack her heavy lids, she peaks over her shoulder and sees him, close to her, sans any shirt. He had a worry wrinkle on his sleeping expression, lips bitten and peeled raw, with a strong arm around her waist._ _ _ _ _ _

______She took a moment to just look at him and his features. He was so frighteningly handsome. Sometimes she couldn’t look him straight in the eye. Bucky was intense, in every sense of the word. His stare, his attitude, his size… sometimes she felt like a peeping school girl looking at him. Like looking at him full on would send her into a frenzy of hormones. She felt justified now to sneak looks at him when he wouldn’t know. Her heart could beat as fast as it wanted and she could look as dopey as needed without embarrassment._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know you’re looking at me.” Bucky muttered, the beginnings of a smile starting on his face._ _ _ _ _ _

______Or so she thought._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How the hell would you know?” She asked playfully._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky opened one of his eyes, “It’s my job to be observant, baby. I knew the second you woke up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______(Y/N) tried not to grin, to masquerade as if this made her angry, but to no avail._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And you let me embarrass myself anyway? Some boyfriend you are.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky’s other eye opened, and his arm around her waist moved up to flip her on her back. He repositioned to hover over her, “I like when you look at me. Boosts my self esteem.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Like you don’t already know you’re beautiful.” She rolls her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Only feel that way when you look at me. S’part of the reason I like it so much.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky had this knack at saying the perfect things all the time. With one sentence he turned her into a blushing, melting mess._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You make me feel beautiful, too.” (Y/N) replies, much softer, while her hands wander Bucky’s shoulders and chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______Her thumb finds the large, raised pink scar on the top of his left shoulder and followed it gently down to his wrist. It was jagged, thicker in some places than others, and twisted around his forearm like an unforgiving snake. It was now covered in black and grey ink, but was still visible, peeking out and reminding the attentive eye that it was still there._ _ _ _ _ _

______It’s the scar that Bucky likes to say happened when his bad decisions finally caught up to him._ _ _ _ _ _

______He had been young, stupid, fucking anything with a pulse and taking whatever drug was in front of him. His mother had just died and his father was becoming even colder than he had been before. Bucky was spiraling, falling deeper and deeper into a black hole of his own creation._ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve had seen him struggling and offered him a life line. To take him in, sober him up and get him into therapy, but Bucky refused. He didn’t want his friend to see him this way. Even more, he didn’t want his friend to make him stop._ _ _ _ _ _

______One night during the time of Bucky’s tirade of damage, Bucky's father called him in to do a run. It was a sensitive deal and George Barnes thought having his son there would be for the best. It could be a valuable lesson to his son on how to run the 107th, how to handle situations like this in the future._ _ _ _ _ _

______“This isn’t a good idea, Buck. You’re a fucking wild card, right now. You need to back down.” Steve folded his arms across his chest and watched and Bucky scoffed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You just wanna go in my place. You just wanna impress dad and have him give you Pres when he retires.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Fuck off, man. Unlike him, I actually care about you. I care and I know that you can’t do a run in your position.” Drunk, coming down from speed, off a three day bender.  
Bucky stood on wobbling legs and stared his friend down. They had known each other since they were in diapers, friends at first sight. They had done everything together since. They knew everything about each other. Every secret, every regret, every high, every low, been there to hold the other up through every rough patch. But for the first time in his life, as Steve looked into Bucky’s dead glare, he couldn’t see a semblance of the man he called a brother. _ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t need your opinion. I’m not on your bitch leash, Rogers.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve did nothing to stop Bucky as the man smashed his shoulder into Steve’s and trudged from the bar, leaving him wondering if this would be the final straw on Bucky’s list of sins. Which one would be the final check on his rap sheet and send him straight to hell._ _ _ _ _ _

______The deal went bad from the beginning. Almost the second Bucky and George had greeted the few Hydra men they were meant to be dealing with, shots were fired._ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve had been right, Bucky was in no head space to go in the first place, even if the deal had been easy and clean. He especially wasn’t in the right state to deal with a deal gone wrong. To fight accurately and dodge attacks._ _ _ _ _ _

______That was the night a Hydra goon flayed his arm with a hunting knife. It was the night his father left him for dead to save his own skin when it was clear they were outnumbered. Bucky remembers gasping for air and the shocking numbness he felt wash over his body. His vision was blurred and his stomach was queasy from blood loss. He had seen so much bloodshed in his life and never batted an eye at it… but when it came to seeing his own blood dumping from his body, his stomach rolled and bile filled his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _

______He remembers looking up through the roof slots of the old warehouse and wanting to cry, because he was going to die and there were no stars in the sky to be seen._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky doesn’t remember, however, Steve rescuing him. Hauling him into the back of his old truck and tourniqueting his arm with the belt from his jeans. Unsurprisingly to anyone who knew him, Steve had followed Bucky and George that night. He just had a bad feeling and was too stubborn to put that feeling to rest._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky woke up in his bed the next day, Bruce Banner, an old Army medic checking his heart rate with a tinny looking stethoscope. Steve stood in the corner, alone, with a scared look on his features. He didn’t need to say anything for Bucky to understand._ _ _ _ _ _

_______I’m so fucking mad at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______I’m not gonna say I told you so._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Don’t scare me like that again._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______You better get your shit together._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______And lastly,_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______You know club rules, I couldn’t take you to a hospital, no matter how much I wanted too. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________Neither man ever spoke of that night or the silent conversation they shared. The messages communicated in Bucky’s dim bedroom were ones neither would ever forget._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky had told (Y/N) of this story the first time they had sex. She went to peel off his shirt when Bucky’s hands stilled her own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It ain’t pretty under here, sweet girl.” Bucky tried not to let his tone waver. He never warned women in the past. He either fucked them doggy or fully clothed, never caring. But it went without saying at this point that she was different._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh yeah, sure.” (Y/N)’s voice was sarcastic as she went back for the hem._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No, baby hold on. I’m serious.” His eyes couldn’t meet her’s, he felt embarrassed and timid._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Her eyes grew wide with worry and she abandoned her place at the hem of his long sleeve to comfortingly rub his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What is it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She had been so vulnerable and honest with him about her past, about everything, Bucky knew he couldn’t hesitate to tell her his own any longer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After he did, her eyes were glossy with tears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh Buck, baby, I’m so sorry.” She huddles into his chest and grips him as hard as she can. So he can only feel her, only feel her and her support and nothing else._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“S’okay, it was a long time ago.” He whispers, feeling exposed from his confession._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t care about it, baby. I don’t care if they are all over your body. Long, short, shallow, deep. Whatever is under this shirt, I know I will love. I know you’ll still be the most beautiful man I have ever seen.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky’s jaw clenched and his eyes blinked with unshed tears as he tightly nodded. She was so kind and empathetic and sincere. How had he lived without her?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With these new emotions clouding their previous raw sexual energy, their first time was less furious fucking and more sweet love making. And surprisingly, Bucky wouldn’t have changed a thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When they were twined or pressed together, as they usually were, (Y/N)’s fingers would wander to his scar. Whether dancing her fingers under the collar of his shirt, tracing it through his clothing or stroking her thumb over the inside of his wrist, it became a habit. A small gesture of sweetness, of togetherness, of I’m here, right now, with you.  
Now, she does it as Bucky stares adoringly down at her. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well, you are beautiful. And I know everything, so it’s true.” Bucky says, and she wriggles underneath him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You know I can’t take a compliment.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, and I told you to get used to ‘em. So, deal with it, woman.” He collapses on top of her after that, and they both fall into a fit of giggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________(Y/N) hums contently, petting Bucky’s hair as he smiles against her neck. He presses a quick kiss before rolling off her. Much to her displeasure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And it’s because I know everything that I know you need to tell me what happened with Tony.” Bucky says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________(Y/N) groans, “No, you’re just nosey.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m allowed to be nosey when it comes to you.” He pecks her shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Does that mean I’m allowed to be nosey when it comes to you?” She raises an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Of course you are, I’m an open book. With you at least.” He adds, because they both know he is cold and secretive with most others._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Then why do you have a crudely drawn picture of two Disney princesses fucking tattooed on your foot? Hm?” Her eyebrows raise higher._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I lost a bet to Sam, stop changing the subject.” He replies smoothly, “Tell me what happened with Tony.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________(Y/N) lets out a heavy sigh and picks up Bucky’s fingers from where they rest on her duvet-covered stomach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“He was mad, obviously. Said some pretty nasty things… said that he never thought I’d disappoint him.” She doesn’t look at him as she speaks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What kind of nasty things?” Bucky asks, his mind flaring with ideas of what had been said, and ways to disembowel Stark._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It doesn’t matter. It’s over. I’m gonna take a few days off, I need some space.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Space to what?” He asks again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m not sure yet. Just space away from Tony and his looming gaze over all of us,” She perks up a little, “Space to be with you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky smiles, “I like the sound of that. I’ll lock you in this room and not let you leave bed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I could do that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Before she knows it, Bucky has resumed his place above her, placing his knee between her thighs and kissing her soundly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________xx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Over the next month, Bucky and (Y/N) were all but inseparable. She spent her nights in his bed and he spent his days at her side and neither wanted to be apart. It was common knowledge now that they officially belonged to each other. There were certainly some girls around the club who scowled at her after they realized she had taken Bucky off the market, but she didn’t care._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She was just so fucking happy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Everything was perfect, more than perfect and she felt like this passion and love made it hard to breathe. Bucky just made everything so much better. He loved her, cherished her, admired her, respected her. He made her feel good about (Y/N), valued her for the woman she was outside of Violet, something a man hadn’t done in years._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She woke up one morning to the feeling of Bucky’s thumb tracing her orbital bone, his large palm cradling her face. (Y/N) blinked sleep from her eyes and couldn’t help but smile knowing that he was the last thing she saw before she went to sleep and the first thing she saw when she woke up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Morning.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“G’mornin’ sweet girl.” Bucky grinned, thumb never stilling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You gotta go to the bar today?” She asked, stretching her legs the best she could from her current position tangled in Bucky’s limbs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“N’till later. You’ll be at work, so I’ll pick you up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I like having you at work.” She pouts, but they both know she isn’t really angry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, well I like bein’ with you at work, baby. But duty calls, s’bummer.” He pinches his mouth to the side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Fine, I guess I’ll survive.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They went about their normal routine until nightfall, when Bucky drove her to work in his car and he kissed her goodbye. It was a gentle kind of intimacy, a domesticity. He was just a regular guy, dropping off his girlfriend for work for the night. They weren’t broken or damaged and he wasn’t dropping her off to dance nude for strangers while he went to discuss drug deals and murder with his biker club. In these moments, he really liked to pretend, to just pretend they were normal._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________xx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Later that night, wearing body paint and not much else, (Y/N) saw Bucky entering the dressing room from the corner of her eye. Her heart sped up and she did a half ass job at finishing her lap dance so she could go to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She pranced across the floor and through the thick maroon curtains to the back where she saw Bucky leaning against her vanity, clicking away at his phone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’d hug you but I’m covered in paint.” (Y/N) smiles at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When he sees her approach, Bucky immediately pockets his phone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Wow, baby. You look amazing.” He reached out for her hands and raised them so he could fully take her in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The black light was on tonight so all the girls were painted scantily in neon colors, most wearing short neon wigs. His girl wore a bright pink bob wig and was striped with pink and green paint._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You like?” She preens under his attention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Very much, god, I don’t care if I get paint on me, it’s worth it.” Bucky pulls her in and slots his lips between hers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How was your night?” Bucky asked between kisses._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Good, black light night is fun and I like this little get up I’m wearin’.” She pulls away to speak._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Little is right,” Bucky growls, one of his hands detaching from hers to take a healthy grip on her ass._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________(Y/N) squeals happily and kisses him a bit longer before pulling away again, “How was your night?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky’s seductive grin fell and in return so did her’s._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah about that…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________xx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t know about this baby…” (Y/N) paced in the back office, their spot, sans wig and wearing a silky robe over her painted skin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“(Y/N), this is my job.” He sighs, watching her walk around the room anxiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But it’s my job to keep you safe, Buck.” She stopped and looked at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The meeting he had had with the boys tonight hadn’t gone well. Hydra was closing in on their territory, and the only way to hold them off was to make an alliance with Asgard, a gang that was about a hundred miles away. Bucky had a long standing feud with Loki, their president and strangely enough, also Thor’s estranged brother._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After Bucky’s father retired, he got caught in the crossfire of debts and a turf dispute and Loki had put a bullet between his eyes. Bucky in turn killed Loki’s sergeant in arms who also happened to be his sister (Thor had given his blessing). Now both were even, but still angry with the other. They did their best to stay on their own land and conduct their own business._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But with Hydra, old feuds needed to be put aside for the greater good. Their petty crimes and drug dealing was nothing compared to Hydra’s sex trafficking, kidnapping and gruesome atrocities._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hydra almost killed you and Asgard killed your father! I don’t like this, how am I even supposed to pretend to like this?” (Y/N) paled and nausea washed over her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t like it either ok? I don’t. But for the operation to keep runnin’ I gotta work with Loki and I gotta show a united front to Hydra. It’s what has to be done.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She pushed out her bottom lip, “What if something happens? Bucky, I couldn’t-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was no way she could finish that sentence without collapsing into a fit of sobs. She couldn’t fathom the thought of life without him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey, no, no, no! Nothin’ is gonna happen,” Bucky sprung to his feet and crossed to her, “I know this life better than anythin’, and I’ll have Steve and Sam and Thor and Tasha. She’s scarier than anythin’s, right? I’ll be safe.” Bucky offered her a smile which she didn’t return._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’s gonna be OK. And you know I wouldn’t lie to you.” He lifts her chin with his thumb and bores his stare into her worried eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She nodded tightly and ran her tongue over her teeth. Uncrossing her arms she grasped Bucky's wrist and ran her thumb along the end of his scar._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Promise?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I promise.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________xx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky rode out with the 107th two days later at dawn. His girl was wrapped in one of his shirts, a pair of his sweatpants and draped in the quilt from the end of his bed as she stood in his driveway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just four days, that’s nothin’, right?” Bucky desperately wished he sounded more convincing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He was nervous about this meeting with Hydra, nervous about an alliance with Asgard, but he was down right petrified about leaving (Y/N). He could barely pry himself away for an evening without her, let alone 96 hours long, long hours. If he was a worse man, he would have forced her to come with him so they wouldn’t have to be apart. But there was no way he was exposing her to Loki and fucking Hydra. She was his girl, his heart, his love, he didn’t want those men to even get the privilege of looking at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She could get caught in the crossfire of whatever happened, and if she did, Bucky knew he wouldn’t survive a life without her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know, but that doesn’t mean I want you to go.” Her voice is coated with sleep and fear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She looks so beautiful, so delectable right now. Swathed in thick fabric and Bucky knew if she wrapped her arms around him and beckoned him into her warm cocoon, he’d never have the nerve to leave her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’s gonna be OK. I’ll call and text and it’s gonna be fine. I’ll be fine.” He hoped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She just nodded and Bucky cupped her sheet creased cheek, “You have my heart while I’m gone..”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And you’ll have mine.” (Y/N) tried to swallow the growing lump in her throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky’s breath shutters and he knows he can’t take another second of not kissing her. He smashes his lips into hers, and he can feel the wetness of her cheeks against his own. He did his best to pour all of his love and emotion onto her lips, he needed her to know everything he felt. Even the things he couldn’t articulate._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When he pulls away her lips are kiss bitten and flushed and, God he loves her, and why did he ever agree to leave her here, alone with no one to love and pamper her for four whole days?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But he hears Steve clear his throat behind him, he had forgotten he and Sam were waiting for him to say goodbye. (Y/N) made it easy to forget the rest of the world when he was with her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sweet girl, I gotta-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know. Just be safe. Tell Steve and Sam the same. I want all my boys safe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________My boys _. She really was the perfect old lady for him.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Bucky only nods and does his best not to cry as he presses a final kiss to her lips, turns quickly, mounts his bike and rides away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________xx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Bucky refused to let her take the bus to work anymore, so when she had shifts he had scheduled for Scott to pick you up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The two had become friendly after (Y/N) and Bucky had started dating. She was right about her original assessment of him. He was very kind and a little meek to be a biker. He did mostly low level work, like security or watching over Commandos. Bucky liked their friendship (and desperately tried not to be jealous) and happily assigned him to watch over her while he was gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Scott picked her up in Bucky’s car from her little house, throwing bad pick up lines at her roommate who pretended to hate them. They’d listen to music and talk about everything but the 107th and Bucky’s absence. He was a good friend, a welcome companion in her life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The night Bucky was scheduled to come home, Scott picked her up for her usual shift and did his best to distract her from the restlessness of knowing her love would be home soon. (Y/N) didn’t want to mention how scarce Bucky’s texts had been or the tense look on Scott’s face. She just willed her heart and mind to slow. Work luckily helped calm her buzzing nerves with it’s routine and monotony._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It was a typical Wednesday at Hot Stuff. Unlike other clubs, Hot Stuff was usually busy during the week. Tony paid for good booze, good ambiance and pretty girls, so patrons were always rolling in. Blue collar, white collar, high rollers and scabs, Hot Stuff saw it all. And tonight felt normal._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________(Y/N) chatted a bit with Candy and Scarlett about Big Nose Ben (a grabby customer Thor had thrown out more than once), the baby oil Candy was using and the new DJ only playing remixes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She had worn her new strappy bodysuit, made up of thin cords and making her look like “a sexy spider web” according to Cherry. She felt fine, a little less than normal without Bucky’s eyes on her as she had come accustomed. After a few lap dances and her stage routine, Scott informed her that someone was waiting for her in the back rooms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“How many songs?” She asked, combing her fingers through the long blonde wig she wore._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Three, but he already ordered a bottle of Dom. Think he’ll be easy to squeeze money outta.” Scott smirked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Good, mama wants a new pair of shoes!” She exclaims with a clap of her hands while Scott chuckles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She pats him on the shoulder and passes him, winking to Peter, another low ranking member, who regularly stood watch over the private rooms while Thor was away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When (Y/N) entered her usual room, she quickly took in the man sitting in front of her. He was similar to her other clients. Unattractive, gruff, aging and wearing a nice suit. (Y/N) thought she recognized him, but couldn’t be sure. She didn’t think twice about it as she easily slipped into being Violet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You called for me?” She clasped her hands behind her back, pushing her chest out as she fluttered her eyes at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I did.” The man replied in a thick accent, his eyes raking over her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Mm, I’m glad you did.” (Y/N) walked further into the room and sat on the red leather couch, “What do you want with me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“God, I want everything.” He drawled, leaning toward her. She could smell his breath. It was thick and smells stale._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Like what? Can you tell me?” She flirted, again pushing her chest out as she traced nimble fingers up and down her thighs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I want to touch, I want to touch you everywhere.” His tone was long, drawn out and lustful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________(Y/N) moans loudly before standing and beginning her dance, “I know I would like that. What else?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’d put my tongue between your legs, I’d put it all over you.” His cologne was so strong, she felt like she was getting a migraine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I know you’d do it right, sir. I’ve never had a man like you before, I know you’d make me cum.” She bends over in front of him and tries to remember if she had placed chicken in the fridge to defrost for dinner before Scott picked her up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I know I would, I know I would.” He chanted, his tongue practically hanging from his mouth as he watched her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________(Y/N) swivels her hips in front of his face and looks at herself in the mirror. She was having a good makeup day. She'd have to ask Scarlett what palette it was she let her borrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’d be sooooo nice for you to treat me right. I’m so lonely all by myself.” Did she turn off her flat iron? Shit, she didn’t. She’d have to run backstage after this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I would. And I will.” The man snapped (Y/N) out of her thoughts when he tightly grabbed her arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She tried not to show panic and she continued with her sexy persona._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Then tell me more…” She smiled sauvely and tried to pry away his fat fingers. But they were strong._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I know you’re playing hard to get. I can see it in your eyes.” His hand tightened on your wrist, plunging his nails into your flesh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Excuse me?” Violet was calm and collected. (Y/N) on the other hand was terrified._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I know you and Tony are just trying to drive up your price. But I won’t pay, not when you’re already mine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________That was when (Y/N) stopped pretending, stopped being Violet and started to panic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sir, please let me go before I call security. There are some guys outside who won’t be as polite as I am being when they ask you.” She tugged her arm away, rougher this time but the man persisted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Little flower, you won’t get away from me now.” He slowly stood to loom over her. He was at least a head taller than she was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It was then, something in her unconscious came screaming to the surface to connect the dots for her fear riddled body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________This was the guy. The fucking russian dude. The offer. This was him. And Bucky wasn’t here._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ok, please just let me go, alright? I promise I won’t tell anyone about this if you just let me go.” Bargaining with crazy people never works, but her mouth formed the words before she could stop them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I will have you. You will be mine.” His face started to bend toward her and her fight or flight ignited (fucking finally)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She balled her fist tightly and threw all the strength she could muster behind it and hit his temple hard. Surprised at her attack, he stumbled a few steps away and released her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Seeing this golden chance at escape, (Y/N) began to scramble to the exit curtin. Before she is even close, the man grips her by the back of the neck, so tight she knows her skin is now under his fingernails, and slams her backward onto the hard tile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________(Y/N) hits the floor with such a force, the air is pushed from her lungs and stuns her body and mind from fighting back. The russian uses this time to straddles her. He digs his knees into the crooks of her elbows to incapacitate her arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“A feisty little one, aren’t you? You’ll make a subtle wife for me.” His smiles down at her manolvently, his long hair dangling down around his pudgy face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The man was heavy on top of her, his weight pressing on her abdomen and making her already sparse breathing worse. She writhed beneath him, fighting with everything she had to escape his hold. She kicked her legs futilely, trying to knee him, distract him, hurt him, anything! But he was sitting far enough up her chest that her knees didn’t have enough momentum or range to hit him. If they did make contact, her subtle attacks did nothing to phase him as he started to try and undress her. The tangled bodysuit (Y/N) wore was tricky for her to get into alone, so a man trying to take it off while she was squirming was even harder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Hopefully that would buy her some time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________(Y/N) heart was racing and her lungs were still at half capacity, but with all she could muster, she let out a blood curdling scream. One that rang in her own ears and caused the man above her to flinch. She knew it was loud, but unsure if it cut over the music booming in the club._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________(Y/N) was gearing up to do it again, but the russian struck her hard across the face. Her vision blurred and her brain scrambled, pain radiates across her cheekbone and vines out across her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Little bitch, I’ll get you to fuckin’ shut up.” His face displayed a new anger. One like she had never before seen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It was then, with a chilling look in his eyes, that he wrapped his hands around her neck. And it was then, that (Y/N) knew she was done for._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He was either going to strangle her unconcious to rape her and kidnap her, or squeeze the life right out of her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Her arms ached as they fought against his strong knees, trying to free herself. Her body was in pure survival mode, moving on its own accord in an attempt to save her life. But nothing worked. (Y/N)’s vision was beginning to spot and her eyes were streaming tears, her lungs were shriveling and tight. She felt like her organs were coated with fire. All she could hear were her wheezes and the russian’s angry grunting as he pressed down on her windpipe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Her eyes felt like they were going to bulge out of her skull from the unbearable pressure being afflicted on her neck. She remembered reading once that when people were strangled to death, all the blood vessels in their eyes burst. She wondered if it was true, and if that was happening to her right now? That would mean that when Bucky eventually found her, she’d not only have purple markings on her limp neck, but blood red eyes to complete the horror show._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Time seemed to slow as her eyes rolled to the ceiling, as her time was running out. She thought of Bucky. His soft lips, hard muscles, sweet smiles and warm embrace. She thought of how much she loved him, how sorry she was that this is how he’d find her this way and how she hoped he’d eventually find happiness and love again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She thought of his own story of waiting for death. How he cried because he couldn’t see the stars as life faded around him. Above her now was only a mirror with the blurred vision of her being killed and her murderer’s hunched body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She could feel her heart begin to quicken and her head grow miles wide as the blackness shading her vision grew until it was like she was looking through pinholes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________(Y/N) thought she felt some sudden feeling of lightness, but how was she to know that’s not just what you felt when you died? It didn’t matter, she was too far gone to know what was real or not. All she could do was submit to the darkness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	6. chapter v.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath of chapter iv and how the 107th begin to handle it

Never had Scott Lang felt such visceral and cerebral fear before in his life. Seeing Violet’s lifeless body under an anonymous man whose hands were secured around her throat sent tremors of nausea through his system. 

He had become suspicious that something was wrong when she had yet to leave the back room and resume working the floor. Scott had learned to count songs while she was in the back rooms with men, a not so subtle suggestion given to him from Bucky.

Never was (Y/N) anything but punchual, the second the last song the customer paid up too had ended, she was slipping out of the curtains. (Y/N) never dallied for a customer, even her favorites, so the notion of her deciding to stay and give a customer another song on the house seemed highly unlikely. 

After three songs had come and gone, Scott started to peek behind himself. Waiting for his new friend to emerge and pat him on the shoulder before returning to work. But she never appeared. Worry beginning to bubble in his system, Scott left his post by the bar and headed back to ask Peter if Violet had left her session and had just slipped Scott’s notice. 

“No, she hasn’t left. I usually keep my eyes forward, but y’know how Pres is. ‘re always supposed to watch ‘er.” The kid dutifully replied. 

What happened next had never happened to the slim man before. He had always been hesitant, observant, calculating each and every move. On a girl, on a job, in a fight, anything. He was analytical and stealthy. He liked to plot his motions before he made them. But when it came to (Y/N)? His president’s old lady? His friend? All of that went out the window. 

Scott jogged past Peter and down the hallway of drawn curtains to her usual room, Peter following curiously behind. When he pulled back the curtain, he was met with Violet’s slaughter. 

The adrenaline from his residual worry still raced in his system and it took him no less than a second to remove the gun from the waistband of his jeans and pummel the man on top of (Y/N) across the head with the weapon. Thankfully, the blows took down the man and he collapsed on his side, leaving (Y/N) fragile and dying alone. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, OH FUCK!” Peter said, hands shaking as he took in the scene before him. 

Scott walked over to the unconscious man and studied the barrel of his gun to the back of his head, just in case he woke. 

“What do we do, oh shit, oh god! Scott!” Peter dropped to his knees and started to analyse Violet all over, searching for a pulse and to assess her breathing. 

“You know CPR?” Scott asked, voice dry and deep. 

“Oh god, Scott, she’s not breathing! She’s not fuckin’ breathing!” 

“Peter-!” 

“Scott, I think she’s dying, I think she’s dead!” 

“Peter!” Scott screamed like he had never done before. The voice that reverberated out of his mouth was so unfamiliar he startled himself.

“Do you fucking know CPR?” Scott bellowed, moving his gun to point at the younger man. 

Peter trembled under the weapon and his superiors gaze. 

“I know enough, I think…” 

“Then that’ll have to do. ‘Cause if we let her die, Pres will have both our heads the second he gets back.” That was enough for Peter to start pumping his hands on (Y/N)’s chest. 

Scott watched in horror as Peter did his best to resuscitate his friend. All color was wiped from her skin, she looked waxy and loose like a corpse. When Peter would let go of her jaw to resume pumping on her chest, her neck would wobble and fall to the side, thick rope like bruises already beginning to form on her previously unblemished skin. 

“It’s not working, why the fuck isn’t this working?” Peter looked over to Scott manically, tears brimming his eyes.

Scott didn’t know Peter well, the kid was freshly patched in and couldn’t be more than eighteen. He had fleshy cheeks adorned in downy hair, not old enough to grow anything more. He was a fucking child who was looking his death sentence in the eye because one overzealous customer wanted what wasn’t his. 

Fuck, Scott had to fix this. 

“Take my gun, point at ‘im.” 

“What?” 

“Take my gun, idiot! Do it now!” 

Peter scrambled to his feet and switched places with Scott, who fell to his knees and roughly handled (Y/N). 

“You’re not going out. Not like this! Not when Buck’s finally a decent fuckin’ guy!” Scott said through gritted teeth as he pinched your cheeks to pout your lips in hopes of giving you his live saving breath. 

He pounded on your chest relentlessly, working his hands in a fashion he had only ever seen on television and Peter do briefly. He hoped he was doing it right, he hoped it would fucking work. 

Once more, he pinched Violet’s nose and blew air into her chest, “C’mon, c’mon, not like this!” 

One last hard, savage blow to her sternum and Scott heard a quick intake of breath. 

(Y/N)’s eyes flashed open as her body flinched and spasmed, while she gasped for air. 

“Hey, it’s me, it’s me. It’s alright, I got you.” Scott said, but soon her eyes had rolled back into her head and her body was limp again. 

Scott pressed his fingers to her throat and felt a faint hum under her skin, but it was dangerously slow.

“This is as stable as ‘re gonna get ‘er. We gotta go.” Scott was already hicking you up and over his shoulder as he spoke to Peter.

“What about this guy? What the fuck do we do with him? We can’t kill him here! There’s too many witnesses. Too much mess!” Peter flailed the gun in the direction of the man on the floor as he spoke. 

Scott knew that the witnesses and clean up weren’t the only reason the kid didn’t want to shoot his gun. The boy didn’t want blood on his hands, not then, not so soon, not ever. Scott made a mental note to talk to Peter later about getting out of this business. 

“We’ll worry ‘bout it later. We need to get her to Banner, now. That’s all that matters.” 

Peter nodded, holstered the gun in his waistband and hurriedly follow Scott out the back entrance of the club. 

xx

Both men stood awkwardly outside Bucky’s office at the bar. Each standing on an opposing side of the hallway, eyes trained at their feet and hands shaking restlessly. After they had called Banner, he had told them to head straight to the bar and deposit the girl in Bucky’s office. He had beat them there in the end. Bruce was now alone in Bucky’s office with (Y/N). There was no noise, good or bad, coming from the room. 

Scott just prayed that her gasp of air at the club hadn’t been a fluke. That she hadn’t legally been dead too long or at all. That her brain wouldn’t be mush, that her heart would turn back on. This was all so bad. Even if she lived, Scott knew there was a chance he and Peter wouldn’t see tomorrow. 

“What do we do?” Peter asked, breaking the silence between them, “Do we call Pres? Or wait for them to get back?” 

Scott shrugged, “I don’t know. If we call ‘im, Vice will be mad if they have to end any deals early. If we don’t, Buck will have our heads the second he hears we didn’t tell.” 

“Vice won’t save us?” 

“Not on this…” 

Scott saw a chill run down Peter’s spine. 

“Can we call Vice then? Tell him and have him decide what to do? Takes it off of us.”

“Don’t go shifting the blame, kid. This is our fucking fault.” Scott snapped. 

“But it’s not! Sleazebag guys come in everyday and nothing like this has ever happened before. How were we supposed to know? How were we supposed to protect her from a threat we couldn’t even see?”

“Doesn’t matter, logic doesn’t matter. All Pres will be able to see is his girl dead and me ‘n you with blood on our hands.” 

“She’s not dead yet.” Peter says, voice not above a whisper. 

Silence hangs over them again and Scott sighs. 

“Call Steve. Now. If you tell ‘im he won’t get as mad as if he would if I called.” 

Peter only nodded and scampered away. 

xx

Things had gone as well as expected with Hydra and Asgard. Weapons had been drawn, threats were said and a man or two lost his life, but Hydra seemed to get the message. 

Fuck right off, because you won’t win this fight. 

If they came back clamoring for more land in a few years with more man power, then Asgard and the 107th would deal with it as it came. But for now, things were neutral. 

Things would have been better if Steve hadn’t received a call about an hour before they were set to head home. The second he heard Peter’s franic voice, he knew something was dreadfully wrong. When he heard the subject of the call, he put a least three yards between him and anyone who could hear. 

“She dead?” He asked, voice tight and serious. 

“We don’t know. Banner is with her now. Has been for about forty-five minutes.” Peter replied. 

“He tell you how it looks? What the odds are?” The odds of her ending up alive. 

“Yes, well, actually no. I don’t remember. It was really scary. She was turning blue.” 

Steve curses under his breath and his haunches tense. 

“Ok kid, listen to me. I’m gonna need you to go find Bruce and give ‘im the phone.” 

Peter agreed quickly, and Steve heard his shuffling movements through the receiver to where (Y/N) was being held. 

“Steve.” Bruce greeted evenly when Peter’s phone was handed off.

“She dead?” 

“No, she is going to pull through. She is a very lucky girl, this one.”

Steve deflates, “Thank fuckin’ Christ.”

“The damage isn’t good, she was seconds from death when your men found her. Strangulation is no joke. She’ll have some severe bruising, likely bruised vocal chords and a monster headache. But she’ll be ok in a few weeks time.” Banner explained. 

“Thank you, Bruce. Seriously we owe you one.” Steve said, beginning to walk back toward Bucky and the men. 

“I’ll add it to the stack of IOU’s I have from your group then...” He chuckled. 

“You do that, see you soon.” Both hung up. 

“What was that all ‘bout?” Bucky asked, blowing cigarette smoke from his nose. 

“Some bullshit Peter was askin’ ‘bout.” Steve shrugged. 

“God, that kid. Need to get some thicker skin on ‘im.” Bucky laughed and Sam joined him. 

“I’ll say.” 

xx

Steve was insisting that Bucky return to the bar before he went home to be with (Y/N), and Bucky was throwing a tantrum. 

“How the fuck can a debrief not wait until tomorrow? You, Sam ‘n me were all there. Who cares!” Bucky said stubbornly as they pulled up in front of Commandos. 

“Just… we gotta talk. N’ I need you to hear me out before you snap and start throwing punches, ok?” Steve dismounted his bike and held his hands up in surrender. 

“Ok, whatever you say. Let’s make this quick, I got a lil lady waitin’ for me.” Bucky did the same and headed for the door before Steve stopped him. 

“Before we go in, I need to tell you somethin’.” Steve said. 

“Jesus, what? You and Peg on the outs? That why you don’t wanna go home?” Bucky griped. 

“No, Bucky, just please. Listen and think rationally. Because everything is ok. Remember that for me, alright?”

“You’re actin’ really fuckin’ squirrely. The fuck did you do?” Bucky’s eyes were darkening. 

“Can you repeat back to me that everything is alright? Just so you know for sure?” Steve spoke softly. 

“Fuc- Ok! Everything is alright! Now fuckin’ tell me.” 

xx

Bucky knew Steve said everything was alright, he knew that Steve would never lie to him. He knew that this situation was out of his hands and there was nothing he could do about it right now, but the second his friend told him… told him you had been attacked and nearly died? Nearly fucking died under the watch of his men, Bucky blacked out. His body moved on it’s own accord of pure blazing anger as he charged into Commando’s and let his fist connect to the first face he saw. 

That face just so happened to belong to Scott Lang. 

It took both Sam and Steve with Thor placed between Bucky and Scott to pull him away. Bucky was a rabid dog, frothing at the mouth and barking threats at the smaller man for allowing the owner of his heart to be hurt. 

“Calm down! Bucky! Now!” Steve said in his trademark stern tone. 

Bucky stopped thrashing in his friends holds long enough to see the damage he had done to Scott. Two black eyes, a broken nose and blood pouring from his mouth. Likely a lost tooth as well, then. 

“I’ll kill you Lang! You and that pipsqueak fuck for ever letting someone lay a hand on her!” Bucky snarled. 

“It wasn’t his fault Buck and you know it.” Steve said, pushing Bucky hard on the shoulder. 

Bucky went to reply but Steve’s glare stopped him. Sam wore a matching one over the blond’s shoulder.

“You need to be with her. Go be with your girl, she’s what’s important right now.” 

And with those words, suddenly the anger was gone. His torn, throbbing knuckles meant nothing and his heart shuttered in his chest. 

His girl. His (Y/N). His heart. 

She is just a few yards away and he wasted his time beating a man over seeing her? He didn’t deserve her, God he didn’t. His sweet, sweet girl.

Without another word he pushed past Steve and ran to the back office where his friend had told him she was being held. He knocked with an uncharacteristic ease and waited for Bruce’s soothing voice to call him in. 

Bucky wasted no time opening the door and peeking inside. When he did, he erupted into instant sobs. He rushed to (Y/N)’s side, collapsed to his knees and draped his upper half on top of her, crying with shaking shoulders. He couldn’t even think to care about showing this kind of vulnerability in front of another person right now. All he cared about was her.

She was covered in a random flannel blanket from Bucky’s office to give her some modesty and warmth (not even Bruce could figure out how to get her bodysuit off) (Bucky hated that his sweet girl was bundled in this old scratchy excuse for a blanket, the second he could he would send someone to get her a new one). Her face was beginning to regain some color, thanks to the fluids Bruce had her hooked up too, but she had yet to regain her classic glow. The bruises on her neck were darkening by the minute, red irritation spreading to her jaw and chest. Her body was limp and weak against the cushions, but all Bucky could care about was the steady rise and fall of her chest. 

He pushed the tops of his thighs flush to the side of the couch to get as close to her as possible. Bucky rested his head against her heart and wrapped his arms around her body in anyway he could. Unconsciously, he was using his body to shield her, protect her now that he was present. He was never letting her leave his sight again. 

“James…” Bruce said, speaking over the large man’s sobs. 

“Please, please tell me she’s gonna be OK…” Bucky’s voice was thick with tears. 

“James, she will be fine. But we need to talk about recovery.” 

Bucky turned his head to face Bruce, but never moved a sliver of his body away from (Y/N). 

“Let’s start with the positives. From what I can tell, she has no signs of a TBI. If she does, it’s very mild. Although we won’t know for sure until she fully wakes. From my assessment, she was never legally dead, which is very good. This means that her brain was never completely without oxygen, which bodes very well for long term recovery.” Bruce explained. 

Bucky nods something akin to a child, cuddled up and gazing at him with large glassy eyes. 

“Now, she suffered obvious trauma to her neck, vocal cords and trachea. This won’t be a quick recovery, I’m guessing. You still with me?” Bruce’s voice is kind and relaxing. 

Bucky just nods again.

“She’ll likely have good days and bad days over the next few weeks. She needs to take it easy, rest whenever she can, and it may take her longer to complete tasks for a while. I’ll explain all of this to her when she wakes up, but she really needs to allow herself time to heal. OK?” 

Again, he nods. 

“Thank you, Bruce. I will never be able to repay you.” Bucky sniffles. 

“Repay me by taking care of this girl, that’s all I ask.” 

“I will, I promise I will.” Bucky nods his head frantically. 

“Good. I know you’re probably itching to get her home, but I really want her to stay here until she wakes. I don’t want to put her body through anymore unnecessary trauma until it’s fatigue has passed.”

“OK, alright, that’s fine. Could you ask someone to find a better blanket somewhere? I don’t like her havin’ to use this one.” Bucky replied, immediately beginning to fuss over her again. 

Bruce couldn’t help but smile. He’s seen Bucky kill a man with no feeling or remorse in his eyes. Now that same man was trying to tuck in a sleeping girl he was cooing too. It was a welcomed transition. 

“Will do.” 

Bruce exited and left Bucky alone with his girl. 

Bucky moved to rest his chin against her chest and the tears began to well in his eyes again. 

“Oh God, baby. I’m so so fuckin’ sorry.” He hiccuped as his cheeks became wetter. 

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, sweet girl. I’m so sorry. I love you, baby. God I love you so much. Please know that. Know that and know that I’ll never deserve you. But I hope you’ll still love me when you wake up.” 

Of course, (Y/N) doesn’t respond. Her lashes just fluttered against the tops of her blotchy cheeks. 

Bucky took to pressing gentle kisses to her skin and whispering devote I-love-you’s. When the door opened again, Bucky assumed it was Bruce and looked up, but it was Steve. 

“She good?” Steve asked, forehead pressed to the doorframe. 

“Bruce thinks she will be. She will be. She has to be.” Bucky crowds closer to her chest as he speaks to his oldest friend. 

“I’m glad. She’s a good one, your girl.” He gives a thin lipped smile. 

“She is.” Bucky caresses her cheek gently, “Now what do you want.” 

“To check on you two.” 

“No, it’s not. You’d have left already if it was just that.” Bucky’s voice was unforgiving. 

Steve paused, “You need to talk to Scott. I know now might not seem like the best time… but you need the full story before you do somethin’ rash.” 

“The fuck do you mean?” 

“I mean you walking out of this room and putting a bullet between his eyes before you know what happened.” 

Scott was a good man, a good part of the team. Steve knew the 107th couldn’t afford to lose him right now.

“He and Parker deserve whatever I give ‘em.” 

“Not when you hear what Scott has to say.” Steve replied. 

Bucky was silent for a long time, but Steve didn’t mind. He could wait. Bucky just stared at his girl, her flushed cheeks and marred skin. She was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. She would want him to be better, she wants him to be better. He’ll be better for her. 

“Send ‘im in. But no fuckin’ promises.” Bucky growls. 

“S’all I’m askin’.” 

Steve removes his weight from the door jam and calls for Scott to join them. The man appears quickly. His face is already bruising, his nose and eyes swelling something fierce. 

“Talk.” Steve nudged him as he closed the door behind them. Closing the four of them into Bucky’s office. 

Scott straightens his shoulder and clears his throat, doing his best to now cower.

“Some guy came in, tall, beefy, a little creepy. But s’just the cliente, so I don’t think twice,” Scott starts, “Asks for Violet, pays for three songs, so I send him back to Peter and call (Y/N). She comes over, we crack a joke and she heads back. 

I counted the songs like you told me too, and after three songs, she’s still back there. I start to look around, wonderin’ if she passed me and I didn’t see. But I couldn’t find her. I went with my gut feelin’ and headed back to the rooms and asked Peter if she had come out. He confirmed she hadn’t. I panicked, ran to her room and well…” 

“Well what?” Bucky’s voice was as cold as his glare. 

“It ain’t pretty, Pres…” 

“I don’t care. Tell me.” 

“The guy was on top of her… he uh, he was choking her out. Her body was limp, she wasn’t moving. I grabbed my piece and beat him unconscious, then Peter started CPR. It didn’t work so I tried and she woke up briefly. We left the scumbag there and immediately brought her to Bruce.” 

Bucky took a sharp intake of breath through his nose, held it, and let it out slowly. 

“You get a name on ‘im?” 

“No, we didn’t search him. Just left.” 

“Any tattoos? Jewelry?” 

“Not that I could see.” 

That sets them back in finding out who did this. Bucky tabled that for another time. Right now, he just needed to focus on her. 

“Fine. Lang you can leave.” 

Scott nodded and felt a weight lift from his shoulders as he exited. He would live to see another day. Thankfully, so would (Y/N).

Steve followed Scott out, but gave Bucky one last look who was back to gazing at his girl and murmuring to her neck. Steve smiled weakly and noted to himself to hug Peggy extra tight when he got home. 

Bruce soon returned with a plush comforter. Bucky didn’t know where he got it and frankly, didn’t care. He took it gratefully and covered you in the softer material. He tucked it around her arms and wrapped it around her bare feet. 

“I got you, baby. I always got you, I’m never letting you go.” 

xx

Bucky had fallen asleep on her chest, still clutching her for dear life with his knees pressed unforgivingly to the hard floor. He began to stir awake, sure it was from the aching in his cramped limbs, but soon realized it was due to gentle fingers running through his hair. 

His heart sped up in his chest as he moved around to look up at (Y/N)’s face. Who, wonderfully, beautifully, thankfully was looking back down at him. A devastating little smile on her perfect lips. 

“Baby,” Bucky’s spoke, his voice still scratchy with sleep and disbelief.

She opened her mouth to reply, but flinched when her throat moved. 

“Shh, shh, no, sweet girl. Don’t talk. Just take it easy for me, alright?” Bucky coos. 

(Y/N) purses her lips in frustration, but concedes with a nod and no fight. 

Her plush lips, her dainty fingers still exploring his scalp and those big eyes looking at him, and Bucky can’t help but melt into her, out of love and relief.

“Oh my love…” Bucky shuffled up to place his nose to her neck, burying his face in her scent as silent tears escaped his eyes. 

“I’m so sorry. I failed you, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there... I didn’t keep you safe.” 

(Y/N)’s hands migrated to his toned back to draw calming circles over his sweat slick t-shirt. She nuzzled her cheek to the crown of his and hoped that this contact was doing anything to comfort him. 

“I can’t believe I wasn’t there to help you… My love, I am so sorry.”

His pleas and apologies continued until (Y/N)’s hands moved back to his head and pried him away from her skin. Bucky didn’t go without a fight, resisting leaving her comfort to look her in the eyes. They were thoughtful and soft. How she was still so loving and kind in a moment like this was beyond him. 

Not your fault, she mouthed, doing her best to emphasize words so he could read her lips.

“Baby-” But she just shook her head. 

Her thumb started to move on his cheek. An “I”, a heart, a “U”. 

His heart bursts in his chest at her ministrations. This girl, this sweet woman is his everything. 

“I love you, my sweet girl. But no matter what you say, I’m still fuckin’ sorry. I’m so sorry and I’m gonna make it up to you in any way I can. I’m gonna keep you safe from here on out. Never gonna leave my sight.” Bucky says in a rushed tone before pressing a kiss to her lips. 

It wasn’t passionate or firey or laced with sexual tension. It was cathartic and strong with feeling. He needed to feel her. She needed to feel him. Her lips were chapped and so were his, but neither cared. 

“It’s gonna be ok, baby. I’m gonna make it all ok.” And he meant it. Bucky Barnes would stop at nothing to keep her safe, to avenge her assault and to shed blood in her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i guess i’m adding another chapter lol, and maybe one more if my plans change again lmao! this story was supposed to only be four parts originally and much darker, but my little sensitive self had a change of heart. i hope you enjoy and pls god, feedback would be lovely!!!! also, take all the medical jargon with a grain of salt, i'm definitely not a doctor lol


	7. chapter vi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky and (y/n) deal with the aftermath of her attack. bucky learns some new information about that night.

Bucky had taken to watching (Y/N) in her sleep. 

He hadn’t slept through the night since before her attack.

When she would turn in for the night, Bucky would masquerade as if he was going to fall asleep right beside her. He’d say a loving goodnight, pull her back flush to his chest and shut his weary eyes. Then he’d wait. Wait until he felt her relax, wait until he heard her breathing study (or as study as it could get with her injury). He’d spend the remainder of the night monitoring her vitals closely, placing his hand over her heart, feeling the rhythmic beating and the stuttering rise and fall of her chest until sun up.

Sometimes (Y/N) would lose her train of thought. Sometimes she’d forget why she entered the kitchen or become incapacitated by a headache that would take all day to cease. And the thought of her unconscious brain having one of it’s lapses while she slept kept Bucky up at night. This, and a laundry list of other worries.

Bucky has been by her side through every second of her recovery. 

He remembers what it was like recovering all alone. He remembers the suffocating feeling of his small studio apartment while he wallowed in a sea of soiled gauze and fast food wrappers. He remembers the horrible disorienting feeling of seeing his arm, swaddled in bandages and knowing that this one mistake would haunt his body forever. 

Steve couldn’t be with him all the time, and when the loneliness and the pain would radiate through his veins and settle in his bones, he felt ashamed asking for help. Calling Steve to come over and help him change his shirt or settle on the couch and watch a movie seemed impossibly selfish and embarrassing. 

So, Bucky refused to let her leave his sight. He never wanted her cower away from him in a fear of being a burden or in embarrassment of her recovery. He wanted her to know that there was nothing that would stop him from helping. That there was nothing she could do or ask for that would make him run. Bucky had taken to confessing his love to her whenever and however it seemed applicable. 

He would rather die than have her think that he would ever become sick of taking care of her. 

It had been over a week since her attack and (Y/N) was healing as Bruce had predicted. He had been coming by Bucky’s home to check in on her routinely, and he was pleased with how she was healing. Her bruising, while horrific to look at, looked good. And while she was struggling with the aftermath of her head trauma, he could now confirm (Y/N) was not suffering from any serious TBI.

“She looks good. And from what I can tell, you’ve been doing a great job with her,” Bruce said, while Bucky preened at the praise.

“But you need to learn to take care of yourself as well.” 

Bucky blew out an indifferent breath through his nose in reply.

He should have known better than to think he could pull anything over on Bruce. He knew his dark circles were getting worse and that he was always on the cusp of a perpetual yawn, but he hoped he didn’t look as bad as he felt. 

When Bruce left that afternoon and Bucky returned to the bedroom, he found (Y/N) sitting against the headboard looking at him with crossed arms. 

“I heard what Bruce said.” Her voice could only muster a whisper at this point, but it was better than the silence she was forced into on the first two days. 

“That you look good? ‘Cause I gotta say I agree, sweetheart.” Bucky smiled, kissing her cheek before settling beside her. 

“No, that you need to be taking care of yourself.” 

Bucky let out something between a groan and a whimper as he buried his nose into her side. 

“I’ve bein’ doin’ just fine, baby. You don’t gotta worry ‘bout me.” 

“It’s my job to worry about you,” She sighed, uncrossing her arms and moving to run a hand through his unruly hair.

“Well, it’s also my job to worry about you. Head and throat trauma s’a little more important than me jus’ bein’ tired.” Bucky said. 

“You aren’t just tired… you’re tense and anxious, you haven’t left the house since we came home that first night. You aren’t answering calls from Steve or Sam, you won’t leave my side…” Her other hand now moves to caress the nape of his neck, “I just don’t want you to drive yourself crazy and block out everyone else just to take care of me.”

“Takin’ care of you is my first and only priority.” Bucky moves to look up at her. His eyes were serious, his tone was stern. 

(Y/N) drops her shoulders in defeat, “I don’t need you to kill yourself to keep me alive.” 

“But I would.” 

“But I’m not asking.” 

Bucky stares at her long and hard, but she doesn’t budge. 

“I don’t want to lose you, ok?” He finally huffs, sounding petulant. 

“And you won’t. Calling your friends back and sleeping through the night won’t have me miraculously disappearing.” 

“I left you for a few days and you almost did.” 

Bucky starts to get choked up again and he hates it. He hates it so much because he swears he hasn’t cried this much since childhood. Every time one of them mentions her attack, he would lose it. The thought of the horrendous event made him crumble. 

“That was a horrible coincidence, you couldn’t have predicted it… it was just a hazard of my occupation.” (Y/N) shrugged and tried not to meet Bucky’s eyes. 

While Bucky cried when her attack was mentioned, (Y/N) froze up. No matter how absurd it sounded, she couldn’t help but feel like part of it was her fault. She should have tried harder to stop him… tried harder to alert someone in time… maybe took the fucking offer in the first place so he wouldn’t have attacked her after her rejection. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t fuckin’ say that, please. This wasn’t because of your job, this was because some entitled asshole touched what wasn’t his to touch.” Bucky said through clenched teeth. 

She knew he was right, it was just hard to remind her consciousness of this. 

(Y/N) still hadn’t told Bucky anything about her attacker, and frankly, she didn’t want to. The second she did, she knew Bucky would go berserk. He’d storm down to Hot Stuff, demand the man’s name from Tony’s lips, and go murder her assailant in cold blood… and she just couldn’t have that. 

She couldn’t have Bucky out there killing for her, risking life in prison because someone hurt her. (Y/N) knew he would stop at nothing to protect her, even if that meant he would face a jail cell. She would much rather have the russian roaming free and alive than have her love taken away from her for God knows how long. 

But, Bucky was resourceful and sly and resentful. (Y/N) knew he wanted revenge, she just hoped that when (no if) he found out about who attacked her, she would have enough time to talk him down from murder. 

“I love you,” Was all she replied, because it was true, because it was all she could think to say. 

xx

(Y/N) had finally got Bucky to sleep that night. He was passed out on her chest, mouth agape and drool dripping onto her nightshirt. She couldn’t care less, she was just happy that he was finally getting some much needed rest. Bruce had cleared her to watch television the last time he had examined her, so she now flipped channels as Bucky snored and grumbled in his sleep. 

Right when she landed on an old episode of Golden Girls, there was a heavy knock on the front door. (Y/N) tensed, hoping the sound wouldn’t wake Bucky. Unfortunately, it did. 

He sprung awake off her chest, eyes blinking and brain slowly returning to consciousness. 

“Hey sleepy.” (Y/N) smiled at him, dried spit on his cheek and a hair askew.

“Did’ja hear that?” He croaked sleepily. He went to move back onto his side of the bed, but (Y/N) stopped him. 

“No, stop. I’m sure it’s just a package. You keep sleeping, I’ll go get it.” She did her best to push Bucky back down onto the mattress, but he looked at her like she was insane. 

“No. What? No, just… I’ll be right back. I’m fine, I’m not even tired anymore.” 

He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips and left the room. (Y/N) rolled her eyes when she heard him let out a big yawn as he went down the stairs. 

Bucky fumbled with the door handle before opening it. He really hadn’t expected Steve to be on the other side. 

“You look like shit.” The blond chuckled. 

“The fuck do you want?” Bucky asked, yawning once again. 

“You haven’t been answerin’ your phone. Wanted to make sure you were still alive.” 

“Well, I’m alive. I’ll see ya.” Bucky went to close the door, but Steve’s strong hand pressed firmly against the wood. 

“C’mon man, you know we gotta talk.” 

“No we don’t.” 

“Yes we do. You’re still Pres.” 

Bucky felt an instant pang of anger rush through him. His indifferent expression changed quickly to one of unadulterated rage. He pushed Steve hard in the chest out of the doorway and shut the door behind him. 

“Seriously? My old lady nearly fuckin’ dies, and you’re here about club business?” He hisses. 

“If it was Peggy, you’d be at my door, too.” Steve said calmly. 

“Fuck you, Steve. Fuck you. No I would not. Not if it was you, not if it was Peggy.” 

“Say whatever you need to say, but we both know you would. And we both know you need’ta come back. We need you back. I can’t keep runnin’ the ship without you.” 

“Well the sky isn’t fallin’ and Hydra hasn’t overrun the town. So, I’m assumin’ you’re doin’ just fine.” Bucky said back. 

“When you took on this title, when your dad patched you in, you knew what responsibilities came with it.” Steve’s eyes narrowed as he spoke. 

“Then take the fuckin’ patch, I don’t care! I don’t give a fuck right now.” Bucky threw his arms up. 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“Yes, I do. Take the fuckin’ patch. I know you always wanted it.” 

“We gonna do this again?” Steve asked. 

When George Barnes had passed down the president patch of the 107th to Bucky, Steve hadn’t kept his feelings about the decision to himself. He felt cheated and the full effect of nepotism. Steve had always been a ruthless foot soldier for the 107th, doing anything and everything for the good of the club. Not only that, but he was smart, he was helpful and was a natural born leader. Bucky on the other hand, was blood thirsty, erratic and hadn’t always done what was best of the club (I.E. going on the bender after his mother died that almost got him killed). 

The two friends had hashed it out at the time and Bucky had agreed to make him his vice president and that they would both rule alongside each other as equals. Bucky had kept his promise, but Steve still had some residual anger over the decision. 

“I don’t want to! I don’t wanna have this fuckin’ fight again. Just take the patch and leave me alone.” Bucky pushed Steve once again. 

“You wanna know why I’ve been tryin’ to get ahold of you?” Steve’s voice was finally starting to rise. 

“I don’t give a fuck.” 

Steve’s jaw tensed and pulsed as he looked at his best friend. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it quickly. He just as quickly retreated from Bucky’s porch and back down toward his bike. 

Bucky watched him leave with crossed arms. Right before he mounted his bike, Steve turned on his heel. 

“We gotta a fuckin’ lead on who hurt (Y/N), alright? Because we actually do care about her, contrary to your fuckin’ belief! She’s our Pres’s old lady and she’s sweet and kind and we care! So fuck us for that, huh?” Steve yelled from the curbside. 

Bucky’s face fell and he noted that this is what instant regret must feel like. He went to call out to Steve, to stop him, to invite him inside, but Steve was already gone. 

xx

The next day, Bucky went down to Commandos. He didn’t give any notice of his decision to anyone but (Y/N), who was very happy that he was going out. 

“This will be good, the boys need you.” She said in her now signature whisper, smiling up at him. 

They stood at the bottom of the stairs by the front door, and even though he hadn’t left yet, he already felt a nagging feeling to return to her. 

“I’m gonna have my phone on me at all times, I got the ringer turned all the way up, too. I won’t be gone longer than an hour. If somethin’ changes, I’ll call immediately.” Bucky informs her once again, hands smoothing down her arms.

“I know, I know. I’m just excited for you to see Steve and them. I know you miss ‘em.” 

“I really don’t, I’d rather be here with you.” 

“Sureee.” She widens her eyes dramatically with a smirk. 

“Don’t be a brat,” Bucky replies, smacking her ass gently. 

“No promises.” (Y/N) says, leaning up to kiss him. 

xx

When Bucky arrived at the bar, his men seemed surprised to see him. Something that pissed him off. He hadn’t been gone two weeks and they were acting like he had fallen off the grid for years. They looked at him with large saucer eyes and whispered to each other like school girls as he headed to the back office. He’d have to rectify this behavior when he was done talking to Steve. 

He entered the office with no knock or preamble, just opened the door and barreled inside. Steve sat behind his desk while Sam and Natasha sat on the couch. They all looked up in surprise when the door opened so suddenly. When they recognized who had unceremoniously interrupted them, Steve smiled, Sam rolled his eyes and Natasha scowled.

“And the prodigal son returns.” Sam says and Bucky closes the door. 

“Fuck off, Wilson.” 

“Isn’t that your job? To fuck off and leave us?” Sam raises an eyebrow. He always loved fucking with Bucky. 

“Y’know what, Wilson?” Bucky sets his sights on the seated man, ready to bark orders and insults, when Steve silenced him. 

“S’good to have you back, Buck. I’m glad.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t wanna hear it, ok?” Bucky waves his hand dismissively, “Just catch me up on what I’ve missed.” 

“By that, you mean what we found on the guy who attacked your girl?” Sam piped up again. 

Bucky gave him a glare as he set his jaw tensley. He wasn’t going to argue, it was clear that was what had pushed him over the edge to return to his men. 

“We would’ve all come back if we were in Buck’s position.” Steve said, giving Bucky a reassuring glance. 

“An attack on a president’s old lady is an attack on the club. We should all be angry.” Bucky adds, eyes still set on Sam. 

“We coulda been working on avenging her if you hadn’t shut us out.” Natasha's bit out, her voice rising above the men in the room. 

“Tasha…” 

“Don’t fuckin’ Tasha, me! This was fucking serious and you shoulda stepped up and done something about it immediately. Told us and not waited for Steve to tell us when you hadn’t shown for two days. We are in this club together. You’re fuckin’ nothin’ without us, Pres.” She snarled. 

Natasha was never one to pull her punches. She was brutally honest at all time, never sugar coating her often venomous words. 

“That’s enough.” Bucky replied.

“No, I don’t think I’m done,” She pushed herself from the couch to go toe to toe with the taller man, “You think we don’t like her too? Care too? Are angry too? You are so fuckin’ selfish, James.” 

“Natasha!” Steve now stood two. 

“Don’t try to protect him, Rogers. He needs this,” Natasha flicked her gaze quickly before she returned her bone chilling stare to Bucky, “Waitin’ this long to retaliate makes us look weak and ineffectual. Now, we have to take this guy out or we are gonna look so fuckin’ weak, Hydra will be back on our asses in a second!” 

She snapped her manicured nails to emphasize her point. 

“No one knows what happened but us.”

“You don’t fucking know that, Barnes.” 

Bucky doesn’t reply, just stares back at the furious redhead.

“You better fix this.” 

“I will.” 

She doesn’t stay to hear anything else Buck has to say. Just storms to the door and exits, the slam of the wood reverberating throughout the room. 

The men were quiet, letting Natasha’s words sink in. Steve and Sam were scared if they spoke too soon, Bucky would collapse into a sea of emotions. Either a fit of sobs or boil rage that no one could stop. So, they sat with baited breath while their president let the red head’s words sink in. 

“She’s right.” Bucky finally said, his tone defeated. 

“C’mon, Buck. She was bein’ a little harsh…” Sam said. No matter how much he loved to fuck with him, Bucky was still his best friend. 

“No, but she’s right. I shoulda been here, or at least given you directions. But… when it comes to (Y/N)... I have blinders on. You guys gotta know that I would do anythin’ for her.” Bucky’s voice was thick with feeling. 

“Would you kill for her?” 

“Of course I would.” 

“Then sit down, we gotta talk.”

Bucky nods and moves to sit on the couch by Sam. Steve rounds Bucky’s desk and leans against it. 

“After you left with (Y/N), we talked to Scott and Peter again. Peter was basically useless, shaking like a fuckin’ leaf and stutterin’ like no other. But Scott, he remembered more. He gave us the best description of the guy as he could, but it was still vague. White, tall, bulky but fit, bad skin, shoulder length black hair, white collar. This could be about half the guys at Hot Stuff, y’know?” Steve explained. 

“Scott said when he paid for his dance, he was curt, avoided eye contact and didn’t dally. Though, again, nothing that would tip him off that something was wrong,” Sam added.

“We set Nat into lookin’ around the club. Talk to anyone who may have seen somethin’, seen our guy and hopefully get the security tapes from Tony...” Bucky’s jaw clenched at the mention of Stark. 

“But Tony’s been gone, didn’t tell anyone where he was going, just skipped town for a vacation with his wife.” 

“That seems pretty convenient if you ask me,” Bucky growls. 

“That’s what we’re thinkin’. We don’t have any proof, but it just seems a little suspect.” Sam chimes in again. 

“When Nat told us the news, Peter was around. When he heard, all of a sudden, he stood up. I mean he stood up and his chair went flyin’ and it looked like he had a lightbulb above his head!” Steve says and Sam chuckles. 

“For some reason, something about what we said, reminded him of that night. He told us somethin’ that he remembered about the guy.” 

“Accordin’ to Peter, the guy is Russian.”

Bucky stills and he feels the color faded from his cheeks. 

His mind was racing… it couldn't be the same guy who placed an offer on her… could it be?

“Are you sure? Are you sure that’s what he said?” He asks, shock on his features.

“Positive. Last night when I came to see you, I was gonna tell you the news that Tony’s back in town and about the Russian lead.” 

Bucky’s eyes darken now. His color has returned, turning his skin red with fury. His shoulders rise in defence, his fists clench and his gums ache from how tight he’s clenching his jaw. 

“We need to go to Hot Stuff. Now.” He needed to talk to Tony, he needed to get to the bottom of whatever was going on.

“Then let’s roll out.” 

xx 

When the three arrived at Hot Stuff, Bucky barely slowed to a stop before he was getting off his bike and running through the door. It was midday and the club wasn’t open yet, so he had a straight and easy shot to the stairs that led to Tony’s office. 

Similar to how he entered his office not an hour earlier, Bucky throws open Tony’s office door without asking or identifying himself. 

Tony sat behind his large mahogany desk, phone pressed between his shoulder and ear as he picks at a platter of sushi with chopsticks. When Bucky barges in, the man jumps, his utensils clattering onto the desktop. 

“What the hell, Barnes? Were you raised in a barn?” Tony yells at Bucky.

“You got some fuckin’ nerve!” Bucky swears his voice is so loud it shakes the double paned windows. 

“For expecting manners? Who do you-” Bucky rushes forward and grabs Stark from behind the desk. 

Bucky takes the cellphone that Tony had been using and threw it at the wall, no doubt breaking it. He then wound his first in the front of Tony’s button down and pulled him across the desk, his belongings scattering on the ground as his body was dragged through them. 

Bucky slams the smaller man to the ground, pressing a hand to Tony’s throat as he looks down at him menacingly. 

“I’m going to kill you. I am going to rip you limb from limb and laugh at your fucking disembodied corpse!” Bucky snarls. 

“What’s gotten into you, Barnes? I don’t think your little lady would appreciate you manhandling me!” Tony says, still snarky and confident. 

“Don’t fucking mention her! Don’t even think of her!” Bucky’s free fist comes down and connects with Tony’s jaw with a sickening slap. 

Tony curses loudly and swivels his jaw. 

“You’re gonna tell me what I want to know or I swear, Tony, I fuckin’ swear I’ll kill you.” Bucky threatens, his finger pointing at Tony’s face. 

“What do you want to know? The right mouthwash for gingivitis? Because where I’m sitting, you need that information.” 

Bucky’s hand on Tony’s throat applies more pressure as he reaches around his back and takes a gun from the waistband of his jeans. Tony’s eyes widen as the barrel is set between his eyes. 

“Can never stop bein’ a fucking party clown, can ya?” The click of the gun’s safety turning off is deafening. 

“Fine! Fine! What do you want to know?” Tony replies, eyes darting between Bucky and the gun.

“My girl. Who the fuck hurt her?” 

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to even think about her?” 

Bucky presses the barrel against the skin of Tony’s forehead. 

“God! Chill! I get it! Ok? Fine!” Tony rushes out. 

“I don’t know anything about your girl getting hurt. All I know is that she’s been skipping work like crazy.” 

“Do better.” Bucky growled, pressing the gun firmer on Stark’s skin. 

“I can’t do better than the truth! I go out of town and I guess she takes that as a free pass to stop taking her shifts! I don’t know, Barnes!” 

Something about Tony’s panicked words resonated with the logical side of Bucky. He knew that the man wasn’t lying. 

“So you’re tellin’ me you have no idea ‘bout what happened with the Russian?” Bucky asked, not letting his guard down.

“What? What Russian?” Tony looked confused. 

“The one who strangled (Y/N) within an inch of her life not two weeks ago.” 

“What?” By the genuine shock and horror on Stark’s features, Bucky knew his hunch was right. Stark really didn’t know anything. 

“Yep. I was on a run with my men when some bastard- the Russian bastard who offered on (Y/N) a while back- tried to fucking rape and kill her.” 

Tony looked just the way Bucky felt earlier. Nauseous and ready to faint. 

“Wait… are you…. Barnes get off me. Now!” Tony squirmed on the ground until Bucky stood. 

When Tony was free, he scrambled to the nearest garbage can and heaved up the rice and raw fish he had just been eating. 

Bucky wrinkled his nose but said nothing. He just let Tony’s bodily reaction to the news take place. 

Tony finally pulls away from the can and falls against the wall. He looked pale as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. 

“Barnes? Be a dear and get me a water bottle from the fridge behind my desk?” Tony asked weakly. 

Bucky grumbled, but did as Stark asked. 

“Not sure you’re in the place to be makin’ demands.” 

“Fair.” He nods, as Bucky tosses a water bottle into his lap.

Bucky crosses his arms while he watches Tony chug the bottle, who lets out a wet gurgle when he was done. 

“You sure it was the same guy?” 

“Seems all too coincidental if it wasn’t.”

Tony pauses.

“She OK?” 

“Thanks for finally asking.” 

“Just tell me, fuck.” Tony slumps his shoulders. 

“Yeah, she’s fine. Doin’ better… she’s fuckin’ strong.” Bucky muses, his heart growing with pride over his girl. 

“She is. Never met someone like her…” Stark smiles, but his eyes are sad.

“Barnes, you gotta know I had no idea this would happen. It never has before.” 

“Because you’ve never let a girl refuse an offer before.” 

“We really gonna compare moral rap sheets right now? Because I’m pretty sure we could go toe to toe.” Tony looked up at Bucky pointedly. 

“Then let’s not compare anythin’, just give me the fucker’s name and I’ll be outta your hair.” 

Tony sighs and runs his fingers through his product drenched hair. 

“Hand me the brown leather bound journal on my desk,” He gestures weakly. 

“Am I your fuckin’ butler now?” 

“You want the name or not?” 

Bucky grumbles once again and snatches the journal for Tony and passes it to him. Tony opens the journal on his lap and begins to thumb through it, muttering silently under his breath as he scanned the pages. 

“Ivan Vanko,” Tony says, eyebrows raising as he reads over the information he had written, “late fifties, moved here about ten years ago, owner of Squeaky Clean laundromat on sixth-” 

“He owns a fuckin’ laundry mat? Jesus…” Bucky sighs. 

“Yes, if you would let me finish Barnes, I was going to say he has loose mafia ties.” Tony snaps the journal shut with one hand. 

“This whole fuckin’ thing can’t get more cliche…” Bucky says, more to himself than to Tony. 

He walks back to Tony’s desk and jots down the information he had just been told on an empty envelope. 

“Well, it’s about to.” Tony says, pushing himself up with help from the wall he was learning against. 

Bucky glances over his shoulder in question. 

“A big bad biker is about to go kill a Russian wannabe mobster for attacking his stripper girlfriend.”

“Don’t say it out loud, makes it sound trivial.” Bucky sighs, pocketing the envelope. 

“Well, you are. Aren’t you?” Tony asks, walking back over to his plush desk chair and collapsing into it. 

Bucky notes that he even collapses with grace and class. 

“What? Do I need to ask your permission or somethin’?” Bucky snorts. 

“Well, I am her pseudo-father figure. You might as well ask me if you can kill for her. Especially since you never asked me to make her your old lady,” Tony’s sticks his nose up distastefully at the word. 

“Don’t push it, Stark.” 

“Oh, I’m not. But I want to know if you are gonna kill this guy, that you’ll at least get away with it.” 

“You have so little faith in me?” 

“I have little faith in your ability to do this job cleanly and responsibly.” Tony replies. 

Bucky could almost laugh, only two men like themselves could talk about committing a murder responsibly. 

“I got it under control, Tony. This is my hit, it’s for my girl.” Bucky crosses his arms. 

“Well, she’s mine too. Just in a different way. I wanna see this guy go down, and I want it done right so you don’t get sent away.” 

“You gettin’ sweet on me, Stark?” 

“My God- and you are telling me not to push it…” Tony scowls. 

Bucky just smirks. 

“Listen, we need to make a plan. This needs to go as smoothly as possible. Neither of us need any unnecessary eyes looking into our businesses.” 

“And to fuckin’ kill the guy who tried to kill my girl.” Bucky adds, angry Tony had left that out. 

“We can do two things at once.” 

Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“So, we should-“ Bucky cuts Tony off. 

“I ain’t plannin’ shit with you without my men.” 

Tony looks unamused as he pinches the bridge of his nose, “Why did I ever agree to get into bed with bikers?” 

“You came to me, asshole.” 

“Semantics,” Tony says, “but fine. Call your shadows to come up. I know they are waiting in the wings for you to snap your fingers.” 

Bucky chose not to retort. He was getting sick of the bickering banter he was sharing with Stark this afternoon. So, he just huffed and pulled out his phone to call Steve. 

After he hung up the call, he sent a text to (Y/N) to tell her he’d be a little later than expected. 

xx

When Bucky got home that evening, (Y/N) pounced on him, covering his face in kisses. He clutched her firmly to his body, soaking up the sweet love she was giving him. Even with the distraction of planning a hit, the nagging feeling of being away from her was never far. 

“Did you have fun? You must’ve, right?” She dropped from where she had been perched on her tiptoes to look up at Bucky. 

His lovesick grin never failed to make her stomach flip. 

“I did. It was nice to see everyone again. I’m gonna head over there tomorrow night too, take care of some business.” 

“See? It went great! And I’m fine, everything is fine!” Her voice was beginning to come back bit by bit, some words coming out less stained than others. 

“You sayin’ you didn’t miss me?” Bucky jokes.

She narrowed her eyes and shook her head at his antics. 

“You didn’t? Oh god, oh baby! My heart,” Bucky clutches his chest dramatically and falls back against the front door, “Oh, it hurts!

“You poor thing,” (Y/N) snickers, “what can I do?”

“Could bring that sexy ass over here… maybe that’d help…” Bucky puts on a pained tone as he closes his eyes. 

“You’re such a,” But she doesn’t finish, she just walks forward and wraps her arms around his neck. 

Bucky arms coil around her and he grabs her ass. As he does, he flashes his eyes open, “Oh that’s the stuff, I already feel better!” 

“Oh I’m sure you do,” (Y/N) drawls, craning her neck up to ghost over Bucky’s lips. 

Right before she touches his lips with her own, she whispers, “Just so you know, I did miss you. Even if it was only a few hours.” 

Bucky’s heart clenches in his chest and he feels like his stomach is full of butterflies. Oh, how he loves this girl. 

“I missed you too, sweet girl. So fuckin’ much.” And he seals his declaration to her mouth with his own. 

xx 

The following night, Bucky kisses (Y/N) goodbye. His hands clutch her face, keeping her lips sealed to his own in a passionate embrace. His nose nuzzles affectionately against her own as she runs the tips of her nails through the hair on the nap of his neck. Bucky can hear the sound of her fingers gliding over his scalp and he shivers with pleasure. 

When he finally pulls away from his girl, Bucky keeps his hands on her cheeks, just looking at every feature on her face. His eyes eventually drift down to her healing neck and he remembers where his night will be heading. 

(Y/N) can see the quick shift of emotions in his eyes, and migrates her right hand from the back of his head to grip his wrist. Running her thumb over his scar. Her gentle touch brought Bucky back to the moment. 

“I’ll probably be late, I don’t want you waitin’ up, alright?” Bucky says, stroking the skin of her face. 

“I don’t sleep well without you, Buck. I’ll probably be up anyways when you get in.” 

“Just promise to try and get some sleep, will ya?” Bucky implores. He really doesn’t want her to be awake when he returns. 

“I’ll try. But you need to promise to text me when you’re on your way home.” She presses her thumb harder against his scar. 

“‘Course, baby.” 

Bucky kisses her once more before heading out the door. 

She couldn’t place why, but she felt like something was off with Bucky. He seemed more serious than he was yesterday. The playful lit in his voice and the smile that played in his eyes was far gone. If he really was just going to Commandos to catch up on some business, then why was he being so cold and sober in his actions? Maybe he was just angry he had to leave her to go back to work… or maybe there was something he wasn’t telling her. 

xx

Thanks to combining forces, Tony and Bucky were able to make a smooth and flawless plan. Even though he was confident in the plan and his ability to execute it, it wasn’t what Bucky wanted to do. 

He wanted to bring Vanko back to the clubhouse, trap him in the basement and torture him for days. He wanted to slice off appendages with a dull blade. He wanted to pour boiling hot oil on his skin and laugh at his screams. He wanted to wrap a noose around his neck and strangle him so he knew the pain and fear he put (Y/N) through. 

But not only Tony, Steve and Sam too, told him that wouldn’t be how Vanko would meet his end. 

“Buck, you gotta know Tony has a point. We can’t risk gettin’ caught.” Steve had chimed in, cutting off Bucky’s murderous tirad. 

And as much as it killed him, Bucky knew they were right. They already had to deal with riverallies and debts with other MC’s, and had the police watching their every move. The last thing they needed was to get involved with mob business. 

So, that led them to where they were now. Bucky waiting in an alley way across the street from the car that Nat had discovered was Vanko’s. Steve leaning against a brick wall by Vanko’s Cadillac, a cigarette between his lips. Sam, at the bus stop in front of the alley, pretending to click away on his phone. Both men keeping a look out for Bucky to make sure everything went to plan.

Between Tony and Natasha’s information, the three men knew exactly what Vanko’s moves were going to be. He went to Squeaky Clean around 9:30 PM every day to count the cash that had come in. He’d stay for forty five minutes, then come out and walk to his car. He would come out with a paper coffee cup or a soda. He would then sit on the hood of his pristine white Cadillac and finish his beverage with a cigarette. Then, around 10:25, he’d get into the car and drive home. 

Sure enough, 10:15 on the dot, Vanko came sauntering out of his landerymat, coffee cup in hand. Bucky growled low in his chest, hand tightening on the gun in his hand. His back was pressed against the uneven concrete wall behind him, the rivates of sharp cement prodding through his clothes uncomfortably. He watched as Vanko crossed the street and sat gingerly against the hood of his car. He acknowledged Steve with a nod, which the blond returned. 

Vanko placed the cup between his knees as he rummaged through his pocket for his cigarettes. 

Showtime. 

Bucky pushed off the wall and kept the gun in his hand pressed firmly against his thigh as he made his way across the dark street. 

His heart was racing, his muscles were tense and he could hear his blood rushing in his ears. The closer he got to Vanko, the more furious he became. All Bucky could picture was this man, this piece of human garbage who was lighting a cigarette in front of him, with those same pudgy hands on his girl. 

His greasy matted hair dangling in her face while she gasped for hair. His dingy, snaggle teeth baring down at her while she was forced to look at them. His thick body pressing down on her smooth skin and chafing it with violence. 

As Vanko withdrew the cigarette from his mouth to blow out a puff of smoke, Bucky was raising his gun to the back of his head where he fired two shots into his skull. 

He would have fired more, but Stark knew if he had any more than two bullets, he’d fire a whole round. And a bullet ridden corpse looks far too personal. 

Vanko dropped to the ground the second the last shot was fired. His coffee cup falling with him. Bucky watched with a calm as crimson mixed with black on the pavement. 

xx

Bucky went straight home. 

Usually after a hit he would go to Commandos with his men, wait for someone to confirm they had efficiently dumped the corpse, then get drink. But tonight felt different. Even after watching Vanko falling to the ground lifelessly, he still felt restless. Like he hadn’t even killed the man at all.

Was it because he didn’t get to kill the man the way he wanted? Or was it because (Y/N) never told him who had hurt her in the first place? She was too smart to not have connected the dots. All Bucky did know was that he just wanted to sleep. 

After he pulled into the driveway and walked up the porch, Bucky removed his boots. He didn’t want to be waking (Y/N). It wasn’t very late, just before midnight, but she had been on a regular sleeping schedule of being in bed before ten while she was recovering. Bucky opened the front door carefully and stepped over the threshold with socked feet. 

He then places his boots by the door and walks up the stairs deliberately. When he reaches the top, he pushes open the bedroom door slowly, where he found (Y/N) asleep, rolled on her side with her back to him. 

Bucky leaves her be and makes his way to the bathroom. Once inside, he begins to strip out of his clothing, pushing them to the corner of the tile and out of his way in a forgotten heap. When he is left in nothing but his briefs, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. 

Bucky turns and takes in his reflection. He never felt different after all the hits he had completed. To him, he was doing a public service by taking whatever scum he had off the street. But now? He felt unsettled and incomplete.

“Baby?” Bucky shifts his eyes to where (Y/N) stands behind him in the mirror. He hadn’t even heard her open the door. 

She’s wearing one of his t-shirts and nothing else. She looked so beautiful as she rubbed her eye and yawned. Then why did he feel so angry? 

“Why are you up?” He asked in a tight voice. 

“You didn’t text and I got worried.” 

Bucky didn’t reply, his hands gripping the faux poreclien of the sink. 

“How was your night?” She asked, leaning against the doorframe.

When the sleep had cleared from her eyes, she could finally see the ire in Bucky’s features. 

“Baby? Hey, what is it? What happened?” (Y/N) pushed off the frame and started toward Bucky. 

But he spoke before she got too close. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew who attacked you?”

(Y/N) froze. 

“What?”

“I know, (Y/N). I know it was the Russian. And I know you knew too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is greatly appreciated (i beggg of u)! i hope you don’t hate me for the lil cliffhanger lol. next chapter is the last!

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! while i wrote the first few chapters of this last year, it’s not done, so if no one gives feedback i prob won’t continue lmao. posting chapter i tomorrow! pls think about subscribing? xoxx


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